Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Two Kinds of People

I haven't posted here in a while. On February 28th, I had sinus and tonsil surgery and it left me pretty pathetic. I managed to lose 13 pounds and gain 10 of it back. I've been struggling emotionally with being so isolated and it's led to me choosing to just shove food in my mouth at every turn to try to shove down the feelings of being so alone. Due to finances, I'm missing out on every event that would normally put me in contact with my friends. On top of that, my best friend on the planet is going through his own struggles and has basically said that he isn't ready to have me (or anyone) around as much as I would be if I came to see him. It hurts but I understand.

So, where does that leave me? Alone and with too much time on my hands to be spent thinking. One of the things I've thought about is weight loss and how when people do manage to lose large amounts of weight, they seem to end up falling into one of two categories.

Category 1: I lost huge amounts of weight, look at me. These are the people who lost the weight and perhaps due to their ongoing insecurity, make it all about them, all the time. They post tons of pictures of themselves to social media. They don't hesitate to tell you that they lost the weight and just how much. In fact, sometimes it seems like that's all they talk about.

Category 2: I lost huge amounts of weight, let me help you. These are the people who lost the weight and because they know the struggle, the journey, the importance of support, they now want to help others who are on the same journey. They're the cheerleaders, the advice givers, the mentors...

My best friend..one of the people I love the most on this planet...has lost over 200 pounds in the past couple of years. I wish I could turn to him and ask him to help me, to be my support. I could really use someone like him in my corner right now because the truth is that I feel more than a little lost and like I don't know if I can do this. I know I need to do this. I know I want to do this, but I don't know how to do this. I'm scared.


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