I don't really know where to start with this post. It's hard for me to believe that this is my last official MILI post. The time since we first applied has gone by so fast and here we are, at the end. Except, I refuse to let this be an end. For us, it's really a beginning. We both have so far that we want to go on this journey. This challenge was merely the first steps in what has become a lifetime commitment. I feel like I'm on an episode of the Biggest Loser and the announcer is saying something about checking in with the person who was evicted. In a year from now, I guarantee you won't be seeing the same me that you see now. I'm not done. If the stress of the past few months have shown me nothing else, they've shown me that I'm not a quitter and that I can do this, even under enormous amounts of stress.
It's not easy. There have been more days than not during this campaign where I let everything overwhelm me and I gave up on that day. I threw my hands up in the air, ordered a pizza and curled up on the couch. I ought to be ashamed to admit that, but I'm not. I'm human, just like everyone else. I had bad days. I had days where I thought why the hell am I doing this? I let things bother me that in all reality, I should have just let go. On the other hand, I had things thrown at me that in the past would have crippled me and this time I dealt with it and I moved on. I may not have lost 20 pounds during MILI but I learned from the experience.
I learned that challenges don't motivate me. That one came as a bit of a surprise. When Justin told me that Megan had challenged the pair of us last week, I thought woo! this will get me going. Nope. I moved out of a sense of guilt, not out of a sense of competition. Major lightbulb moment for me. I looked back over the campaign and realized that at some point, I started doing this 100% for me and people challenging me to do more so that they would do more was no longer a motivation. I realized that the times I was the most motivated was when I had someone doing it right alongside me. It was those times when I'd post on Twitter that I was doing something..be it water or working out ...and someone would pipe up and say you know what, I'm going to do that too. It wasn't who did more. It was that we were in it together. It was watching people on Twitter cheering me on to make that next target. Having those personal cheerleaders inspired me to work just a little bit harder.
I also learned that I have to be real and sometimes that's not easy for others to deal with. Over the past few months, my stress levels have continued to grow. For the most part, the factors aren't anything I can do much about. I know that and I've been trying hard to focus on what I can control but there have been times when I've let it all get the best of me. I haven't always been the perky, upbeat, positive person that people have come to expect. I had someone call me on it last week. To that person and perhaps to the entire group, I apologize.
I really am sorry. I know that some people consider me a big time cheerleader in the group. I really do love to motivate and support the members of Mamavation. Without this group, I don't know when I would have started taking my health seriously. This group has been the kick in the pants and the loving arms I've needed and I'm sorry that I haven't been there lately for them like perhaps I should have been. Life has been tough and that's no excuse. People don't need you less when life is tough. So, for any of you who have been on the receiving end of my negativity lately, I am sorry. Please know that it's not you or the group. I love the group and I'm lucky enough to call its members my friends. I'm going to try to do better. I only ask for patience and understanding and maybe a cheerleader to work alongside me. After all, a few more sips of water or bits of movement are good for us, right?
I'm going to be selfish here and ask for one more thing. Sometimes, you're going to read something you don't want to read. Sometimes, you're going to hear things you don't want to hear. Sometimes, those things may be from me or about me. Whether they are or not, please try to remember a few things.
1. No two people are going to agree about everything all of the time.
2. You don't know all of what's happening in someone's life.
3. You would hate for someone to judge you, so please don't judge others.
4. Approaching someone with an open heart and kind words often helps far more than accusations.
Now, I suppose I ought to get to the reason everyone really came here...my results...
First, the numbers:
After 2 week challenge/at start of MILI:
Weight: 276.8
Chest: 48"
Waist: 40.75"
Hips: 54.5"
Arms: 18" (left) and 17" (right)
Thighs: 27" (left) and 27.5" (right)
At the end of MILI:
Weight: 260.6
-16.2 pounds
Chest: 48"
Waist: 40"
-.75"
Hips: 52.5"
-2"
Arms: 17" (left) and 16.5" (right)
-1" and -.5"
Thighs: 27" (left) and 26" (right)
No change and -1.5"
Grand Total Change:
-10.8 pounds and -5.75"
And the pictures:
Before:
After:
The Real After Pictures:
Ok, you might have guessed those middle photos aren't me. If you didn't, might I suggest you call your eye doctor? Those are just placeholders until I can get my son to take some new after pictures of me this afternoon. My company for the weekend was supposed to take them but ended up having to go home early. Check back later tonight for the real after photos. They will be here, I promise!
After pictures are now posted. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't see a difference. In fact, they make me wince...I guess instead we'll just have to look at the scale pictures...
Before:
Today:
This last picture is just here to serve as a reminder...Do not step backwards onto your scale while sweeping the floor. I did this last Monday, right after taking my picture. I stepped backwards right onto the display. So, today, I bury my old scale..the one who has come so far with me on this journey and I welcome the new scale (in today's photo) and hope that it will stand by me (or under me) as I continue this journey.
This week's numbers:
Average Daily Water Intake: 30oz, give or take
Workouts: Black Friday shopping, Thanksgiving dinner prep, wall pushups, sink plunging (yeah, we went non conventional workouts this week)
Weight Change: 260.6 (-8.2 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -31.0 pounds