Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Going Down

I stepped on the scale today for the first time since I was at the doctor's office. I think that was about two weeks ago. I suppose I could check, but the time really doesn't matter. What matters is that today, even though I'm having a bad brain, really tired kinda day, I climbed the two sets of stairs up to the community center weight room and I stepped onto that scale. Of course, I had to fiddle with it because you always have to fiddle with the ones where you slide the things across to get your weight.

I was nervous at first because my first real goal that I set was to get below 300 pounds and since 300 is the top of the bottom slider thing and I can never figure out which direction to move the other slider thing, I tend to freak myself out a little bit. Too many years of either nurses doing it or digital scales have caused us to lose certain abilities? Okay, I probably never had that ability to begin with and now I'm just chattering so let's move along...

300 had the bar just sitting there so I moved it to 250 and then started fussing with the top one. Maybe after a while more of doing this it will be a faster process but it took me a minute or two until I got that darn bar balanced and not thwapping itself down. The result? 297. Yep. By simply monitoring my food intake over the past month, I have gone from 318 down to 297. 21 pounds. Not bad for the girl whose doctor told her a year ago that it was impossible for her to lose weight by herself and told her that she should seriously consider weight loss surgery.

Did I eat perfectly during that? Nope. I had one or two days where I went over the calorie amount set for me by the My Fitness Pal app. I honestly haven't stepped foot on the treadmill in probably a month simply because finding any spare time is impossible at this point. My food choices? Not the healthiest but I have started cooking again slowly and I have been honest with myself about what I'm eating and drinking. No hiding things from the app and therefore from myself.

I also haven't made a big deal about my attempts this time. I don't post about it on Facebook or even talk about it outside of a couple of people. Yes, these posts do go up over on my fan page and to my personal page, but I don't draw attention to them. Is this important? It is to me. I needed to prove to myself that even though it would be harder, I could do this on my own. I know that people are there if I have questions or need support, but I want to do this as much on my own as possible. I need to show myself that I am capable of will power and of learning what I need to learn.

So now that I've made my first goal, I have to decide what's next. For me, it's a continuation of my current goals... track my eating habits, learn from them, work on my water intake (always a tough one for me), and yes, there's a new weight goal. 290. Yep, only 7 pounds, but that's how I'm doing pound, two pounds, ten pounds at a time. I have a long way to go and there's no need to freak myself out by looking at the big number. I'll get there and maybe in a year or so, I'll be able to say that I'm on my last 10 pounds to get to that number. Until then though, it's babysteps and little goals.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Holy Busy Batman

Holy cannoli, Batman..I am absolutely done in. This entire summer has been crazy busy and the last three weeks before school starts are always the craziest. On top of that, our little family (me and the boys) is trying to raise money to help send Roger on a science research trip (and his band trip) this coming year. It's insane and because time is running out before his first big payments are due, here's my tiny plug:

Please help send one awesome kid on two awesome trips that he's worked so hard for. To buy our awesome t-shirts designed by Nick of Alt-World head over to TeeSpring and to check out his GoFundMe which has a lot of freaking amazing reward tiers, go to his site!

There's also some personal stress going on so between the financial concerns, the insanely busy schedule, work pressures (that I'm totally putting on myself), and the personal stuff, I am plain done in. It's made really being good a little bit tougher,

Still, for the past seventeen days, I've been really honest with myself about my diet and started tracking it using MyFitnessPal. Yay for free apps! Other than one day when I just kinda said screw it and emotionally ate, I've done pretty well.

Workouts haven't gone as well. Ben had me up on the treadmill three times a week but then he hasn't worked for the past two weeks and I haven't been up at the community center. I have gotten in a bit of walking but not even my tiny daily goal. I have to figure out how/when to fit some sort of walking in. At this point it's the only type of exercise that I can handle. I'm hoping that once the stress of getting another $300 or so by my birthday to the trip folk ($150 by 9/23 and $185 by 9/1) is past and I can start knocking out more of the things that I feel have slipped over the summer then I'll start sleeping better and all of this will just fit together better.

I'm happy to say though that it hasn't all been for loss. No wait, it has been! It's been for a decent loss! By simply monitoring my calorie intake, I've gone from 330 pounds (when I was horribly sick back in June) to 309.8 today. If I use the scale weight taken about 2 weeks ago when I was at the community center and used their old school balance scale, that's still down 9 pounds since then. I'm happy with that and it gives me a nice nudge to keep going. My doctor told me that I couldn't do it, that my body would fight me every single step, but I am doing it. It might be slow but I'm doing it.

For now though, I'm going to smile at my little success and take myself off to bed. Hopefully I'll be back soon with another update as to how things are going. Until then, take care of yourselves!

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