Monday, August 31, 2015

Good Intentions

I had the best of intentions tonight. I got off the phone after talking to a friend about how I'm wanting to use an upcoming trip to England (September 2016) as motivation for me to get healthier. After all, travelling and tourism is much easier if you're smaller and healthier. Just talking about it, got me excited and so I decided that instead of waiting until tomorrow when I'll drive past my mailbox, I was going to get my shoes on and walk down there.

Yay for good intentions! Boooooo for the ten gazillion mosquitoes that were outside waiting for me! Holy heck, Batman! I stepped off the front porch and got about halfway down the block. I was thinking, "You know, it's really nice out tonight. Maybe instead of just down and back, I'll go up a block and get a bit more walking in."  I got about four more steps and the mosquito attack began. I was swatting and smacking and smearing and generally not enjoying myself. As I paused to open the mailbox, they took advantage and started attacking. I managed to get the junk mail (dang it, no books!) out and started hurrying back up the road. It didn't matter though. They were determined that I was going to be their next meal. I looked at the back of my arm at one point and had no less than ten of them on me. They were swarming all around me and as much as I wanted that walk, I wanted to be away from them more.

But hey..maybe I only made it there and back, but that's a great step in the right direction! I could have waited until tomorrow and stopped by in the car, but I didn't. I know it's small but hey, as people keep telling me, single steps start journeys and that's what this is. It's not a race. It's a journey.

So, instead of driving to the mailbox, I'll start walking and I'm also going to be working on kicking my soda habit. It's gotten really bad and I know why. Sugars = woohoo to the brain which when you're bipolar 2, the brain gets very happy about. I need to stop though. It's not healthy for me and getting the water back into my diet will help with a lot of things.

Day #2 - I've got this. ;)

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Starting Over... Again

I've lost track of how many times I've started and stopped this dang blog and taking care of myself. Honest to goodness. I don't even have a clue now. I swear that I write a post and suddenly nearly a year zips by and here I am again.

Now, here's the part where I tell you this time will be different..yada yada yada.. but the truth is, it may not be. Of course, it may also be. Who knows, right? A lot has changed for me over the past few years and I haven't really told anyone this, but my doctor is really on my case about my weight. I have to go back and see her in about two months and I know that she's going to ask me if I went to the weight loss clinic (which I have no intention of really going to because the want to shove a liquid diet in my face and prepare me for surgery). The reality is that I know I can do this on my own. I don't need a liquid diet or fancy surgeries. I need to deal with the core of my issues, why I eat and why I eat what I eat.

I need to take care of me and this is the area that keeps coming to mind. You see, every year, on my birthday, I choose a goal to work on for the following year. I've done mental health, physical health (namely the issues with my sinuses) and other things. There is only one real criteria. They have to be specifically for me. They're not allowed to be about anyone else, not even the boys. This year, I've been going round and round with two things and my weight is one of them. The other is my dental health. I have terrible teeth. I always have and on top of that, as part of my omg I'm overwhelmed by life thing, I got out of the habit of taking care of them.

So, this year, I've decided to be a bit of an overachiever, and yet, they all tie into each other. Here's the other thing..other than here and at Life With Katie, I don't really intend on posting about this or even talking about it. I'm doing this for me and any posts about it will be done for me. That probably sounds more selfish than I usually am or perhaps as if I don't feel as if I need support. I can't really comment on the first one other than to say well yes...but that's the point of this. To "selfishly" do something for me. As for the second point? Well, here's the thing..writing tons of posts here is great and I will always welcome and appreciate any comments, but I am truly blessed right now with some great people in my life and I know that if I need them, I can turn to them.

Now...I've mentioned multiple goals and I'm going to lay them out here, even though only one is really specific to this blog...

1. Weight Loss - I currently weigh in at approximately 310 pounds. I'm not going to put a number goal on an entire year, but I'd like to get down to where I have more energy and I'm generally healthier again.

2. Dental Health - Taking better daily care of my teeth and then getting myself to the dentist for help with the rest, even if I am terrified and I know it's not going to be pretty.

3. Taking Better Care of Me - This is #1 and #2 combined as well as little things like finding a way to get a hair cut when I need one, taking time to relax with a game or a book or whatever fits my fancy, and who knows, maybe even bringing back Time for Me Thursday for the other site. I just need to take better care of me...This also includes continuing to work on my over thinking/over worrying/over stressing issues.

4. Creating a Home - Last but just as important as the others is the continued work on my house. In the past month, I've hauled out a ton of trash and almost as much to donate to Goodwill. I want to continue on that path until I have a home that I'm proud of and don't mind inviting people over to. I want to get it to the point where if Phil comes around, we don't have to go to a hotel unless that's what we want to do. I want the boys and I to be able to both use and relax in the space.

There we go. My four goals for the coming year. Technically my birthday isn't until September 23rd, but I honestly couldn't think of a reason to wait. Instead, I'm starting with this post. Pretty soon I'll write up one for the other site, but for now, this is going to be our little and anyone who may wander across this post.

For tonight, I'm starting with all of the goals in a really simple manner. I'm going to go into the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth, and while I'm in there, I'm going to clean the mirror. If I do some little thing every time I walk in there, the room will be looking fantastic in no time and it will make me smile to walk in there. Smiling when I walk in there will lead to a more relaxed, happier me. Sometimes everything feeds into some other thing.

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