Monday, March 30, 2020

Weekly Update: Anxiety isn't ruling

Hey, all! It's Monday again! We've all made it through another week of quarantine/lockdown. I'm not going to lie, each week adds a bit more anxiety to my life. I have to go to the store tomorrow and I need to go to one of the larger towns around here and I know that they're "infection rate" is something like 6 times what it is in the county where I live. I don't have masks, gloves, or even antibacterial wipes/gel. It actually has me anxious, but it needs to be done. Once it's done, I'll be back in "hibernation" or at least another week.

I am working off of a daily to do list. Starting last week, on Monday, I've created a daily to do list with five items on it. They range from deep cleaning in the house to project work for clients. The cleaning focuses on a specific room in the house. Last week was the laundry room and it went pretty well. The room isn't done, but it's a lot nicer than it was before. I have plans to empty out the freezer and then sell it for about $50-75. We don't use it. It just takes up space and electricity. Someone else might as well use it. If I had more than Roger here this week, I'd try to get that done and the freezer moved out to the barn until things settle down some. I'm eager to get that space back. But, that's a no go for the moment.

Instead, I'm turning my attention towards the bathroom. It's been ages since it's had a really good deep cleaning. Now that I've cleared some space in my bedroom, I'm going to have Roger take the laundry basket upstairs which will let me move the air conditioner to where that was sitting and out of the way. It should be a lot easier room to do since it's so much smaller so I feel less stressed out about my list(s) than I did when I got to looking at the list I made for myself next week.

I don't know if this kind of thing will help anyone else, but it gives me something else to focus on when my anxiety starts to skyrocket. I can go and do something that I have control over. Sometimes that's all we can do; focus on what we can control. We can control things like washing our hands and keeping our distance from others. I know that it's tough. I'm naturally home most of the time but being told that I can't go out and just do things has made it tough for me.

Please though, be smart, be safe. I don't want to hear about anyone that I know dying from this. The sooner we cooperate and behave ourselves, the sooner this will all be over. I know that we'll make it through this, even though it's incredibly hard right now. Hang in there, my friends and as always, reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.

Monday, March 23, 2020

Weekly (Monthly) Update: Holy Wow...

Gah! Just when I think life is balancing out, there's a global pandemic. I handled the first week or so well. Roger was here and we were finding our new normal. I suppose maybe I ought to back up. Roger, for those who don't know, is my youngest and a college student at Michigan State. The school decided to go to online courses and to send as many students home as possible. For 24 hours, I had Ben and Dylan here. Then, they went to my ex-husband's house and I picked up Roger from college. I really like having him here. At the end of a week though, he decided to go over to his dad's as well with the plan of coming back here in a week.

Well, as of today, that plan is on hold. The governor issued a stay home order. We're allowed to go out to get groceries and things like that, but otherwise, we're to stay put for the next three weeks. You'd think that wouldn't phase me because I normally spend stretches of time like that alone, but it's made me anxious as all get out. I can feel a depression hovering around me. I just want to nap all day. I know I'm not the only one feeling like this.

So, what's a girl to do? Well, I made a list of 5 tasks to get done every day. I decided to tackle my laundry room. It's not in a bad shape, but it could use a bit of a face lift. The litter boxes need changing, shelves need to be wiped down...little things like that. I've broken them down over the week. Next week, I'll make a similar list but the room of focus will be the bathroom. That room needs a good scrub down. Since we're in this situation for three weeks, I'll have to decide which room will come after that. Maybe the living room...or I'll start working my way into "the wall" (aka my studio). I haven't decided yet. Thinking that far ahead freaks me out a bit. One day at a time right now.

Will my list work? It's hard to say but it gives me a focus. I also have client work which once I get started doing holds my attention for as long as I work on it. I guess I need to try to make life as normal as possible right now. One day at a time, one minute at a time, whatever it takes. I'll be doing livestreams on Facebook once a week, I think. Just something to connect with other people. None of us are alone in any of this and it's important for us to remember this.

Take care of yourselves and each other. Stay home. The sooner we all do this, the sooner we can all get together for a huge social dinner...or something...

Much love to everyone out there.

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