Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy End of the Year!

New Year coming, new ideas and new actions.  Over the past couple months, I haven't been taking care of myself the way I should be.  I have gained weight, and my blood sugar has been up.  So what are we going to do about all this?  Or better yet, what am I going to do about this?  Well, I am going to make one minor change ... and that is to move my weekly updates from Friday to Saturday.  There is no real health or weight loss reason for that, it is just for my personal convenience.
Secondly, I am going to start a food diary again.  I did this back when I was first diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, and I really need to do it again to get both my weight and my blood sugar under control.
Thirdly, I am going to have to change what I eat. I have bought some apples and oranges for snacks.  I will be buying more fresh fruits and veggies, too. Once a week, I used to eat a meal of rice and veggies for dinner, and I am going to start that back up too.  I am also going to give brown rice a try again.  I didn't like it the first few times I tried it, but I am going to give it a shot again.

Today's weigh-in, 279.8.
Morning Blood Sugar, 146

Luck and health to all of us in the coming year.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Pachacuti - The World Turned Upside Down

I haven't posted in a while, and really, I have no excuse.  I have reasons, but they are not, in retrospect, good reasons for missing my posts.  They tie in with my title today.  I taught Latin American history for a while, and there was an Inca Emperor named Pachacuteq, which means "he who shakes the earth".  As the Inca were invaded by the Spanish, pachacuti came to mean "the world turned upside down".  It referred to things being wrong and out of place, and that definitely describes my life over the past month give or take.

First:  I was under the assumption that seeking treatment for depression meant I would no longer have depressive episodes.  Nope, I was wrong.  I had a pretty major depressive episode over the past couple weeks, and have just in the past couple of days come out of it.  One of the things many of the people in my life don't understand is that when I have a depressive episode, I keep going.  I try to motor through it like a ship struggling through a storm instead of going around.  My depressive episodes don't really shut me down the way they do some people.  They do lead to other things ...

Second: I allowed myself to act like taking my pills for my diabetes was enough, and I didn't need to do anything else.  Diabetes requires a lifestyle change, and while I know that, and had been doing exactly that, during my depressive episode, I allowed myself to slip into some really bad habits food and exercise wise.  I stopped riding my exercise bike, I was eating ... alot.  It wasn't that I was eating necessarily unhealthy food, I was just eating a lot of it.  Even moderately healthy food causes weight gain if you eat too much of it.  Plus, not checking your blood sugar can lead to it going up because you aren't taking corrective action when it starts rising.

Third: I was just downright anti-social and embarrassed that I was gaining weight instead of losing.  'Nuff said.

So, that brings us to today.  I was up to 285.4 earlier this week, and this morning I am at 282.6.  I have over the past week, re-dedicated myself to riding my exercise bike on a regular basis, and I even got on the elliptical in the basement one day this week already.  I have kept a water bottle close at my side almost constantly, and I have started to more closely monitor my blood sugar.  Finally, I am exercising more portion control and cutting out the excessive eating.

Now all I have to do is stick with it while I am on Winter Break!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Unplugging

Wow, 7:30pm on a Monday night and I am just now finding a few minutes to write this post. Life around here is crazy busy and it's not going to slow down until probably around the 18th or so. It's making me take a good long look at what's happening and what needs to give a bit so I can make sure what needs to happen does happen.

Sadly, I think that's going to be my playtime online. I've found that if I have twitter open, I'm far more likely to sit and chat than I am to get up and fight with that kitchen sink. So, until things settle down, expect to see a bit less of me. This just gives all of you with my number an excuse to call and text me. I do miss the calls and texts I used to get.

Anyway, life is chugging along. Today, I spent an hour plus in the pool with 5th graders and then went up and worked out. My body is a bit in awe. I've been slacking recently and today was a good reminder that I need to find the time for more workouts and less leftover holiday stuffing...or fresh that I just made up the other night. ;)

I do want to ask you guys for some extra support though over the next couple of weeks. I know that's going to be harder to give since I'm going to be online less,  but have no fear, I check email and my phone and facebook and...yeah, I'll still be around a lot. The reason I'm asking for support is pretty simple. My son, Ben, who so many of you have loved and supported, is having hamstring lengthening surgery next week. He's going to be in a lot of pain afterwards but we're hoping and praying that this will make his life a little easier in the long run. Keep us in your thoughts as we go through this.

I'm sorry this is so disjointed and chaotic but time is ticking and there's still so much to do!

Average Daily Water Intake: 30oz, give or take
Weight Change: 251.2 (-9.4 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -40.4 pounds

Monday, November 28, 2011

Post-Thanksgiving weigh in

274.4 ... that is a great number for me right now.  It is back where I was 2 weeks ago.  After spending the weekend visiting Katie for Thanksgiving (and an AWESOME turkey), I had to leave early to help fix a tenant's water heater.  So Sunday, I went hiking, and this morning after riding my exercise bike, I weighed in.

I'll see where this week takes me, but I had an ingrown nail cut out of my toe this afternoon, and I grabbed takeout on the way home, so that is not a good start to the week.  The toe hurts like heck right now, and I hope it won't slow me down too much this week.  Well, I will post on Friday and let you know how I fared.

Mamavation Monday - MILI Wrap Up

I don't really know where to start with this post. It's hard for me to believe that this is my last official MILI post. The time since we first applied has gone by so fast and here we are, at the end. Except, I refuse to let this be an end. For us, it's really a beginning. We both have so far that we want to go on this journey. This challenge was merely the first steps in what has become a lifetime commitment. I feel like I'm on an episode of the Biggest Loser and the announcer is saying something about checking in with the person who was evicted. In a year from now, I guarantee you won't be seeing the same me that you see now. I'm not done. If the stress of the past few months have shown me nothing else, they've shown me that I'm not a quitter and that I can do this, even under enormous amounts of stress.

It's not easy. There have been more days than not during this campaign where I let everything overwhelm me and I gave up on that day. I threw my hands up in the air, ordered a pizza and curled up on the couch. I ought to be ashamed to admit that, but I'm not. I'm human, just like everyone else. I had bad days. I had days where I thought why the hell am I doing this? I let things bother me that in all reality, I should have just let go. On the other hand, I had things thrown at me that in the past would have crippled me and this time I dealt with it and I moved on. I may not have lost 20 pounds during MILI but I learned from the experience.

I learned that challenges don't motivate me. That one came as a bit of a surprise. When Justin told me that Megan had challenged the pair of us last week, I thought woo! this will get me going. Nope. I moved out of a sense of guilt, not out of a sense of competition. Major lightbulb moment for me. I looked back over the campaign and realized that at some point, I started doing this 100% for me and people challenging me to do more so that they would do more was no longer a motivation. I realized that the times I was the most motivated was when I had someone doing it right alongside me. It was those times when I'd post on Twitter that I was doing it water or working out ...and someone would pipe up and say you know what, I'm going to do that too. It wasn't who did more. It was that we were in it together. It was watching people on Twitter cheering me on to make that next target. Having those personal cheerleaders inspired me to work just a little bit harder.

I also learned that I have to be real and sometimes that's not easy for others to deal with.  Over the past few months, my stress levels have continued to grow.  For the most part, the factors aren't anything I can do much about. I know that and I've been trying hard to focus on what I can control but there have been times when I've let it all get the best of me. I haven't always been the perky, upbeat, positive person that people have come to expect. I had someone call me on it last week. To that person and perhaps to the entire group, I apologize.

I really am sorry. I know that some people consider me a big time cheerleader in the group. I really do love to motivate and support the members of Mamavation. Without this group, I don't know when I would have started taking my health seriously. This group has been the kick in the pants and the loving arms I've needed and I'm sorry that I haven't been there lately for them like perhaps I should have been. Life has been tough and that's no excuse. People don't need you less when life is tough. So, for any of you who have been on the receiving end of my negativity lately, I am sorry. Please know that it's not you or the group. I love the group and I'm lucky enough to call its members my friends. I'm going to try to do better. I only ask for patience and understanding and maybe a cheerleader to work alongside me. After all, a few more sips of water or bits of movement are good for us, right?

I'm going to be selfish here and ask for one more thing. Sometimes, you're going to read something you don't want to read. Sometimes, you're going to hear things you don't want to hear. Sometimes, those things may be from me or about me. Whether they are or not, please try to remember a few things.

1. No two people are going to agree about everything all of the time.
2. You don't know all of what's happening in someone's life.
3. You would hate for someone to judge you, so please don't judge others.
4. Approaching someone with an open heart and kind words often helps far more than accusations.

Now, I suppose I ought to get to the reason everyone really came results...

First, the numbers:

After 2 week challenge/at start of MILI:
Weight: 276.8 
Chest: 48"
Waist: 40.75" 
Hips: 54.5" 
Arms: 18" (left) and 17" (right)
Thighs: 27" (left) and 27.5" (right) 

At the end of MILI:
Weight: 260.6 -16.2 pounds
Chest: 48"
Waist: 40" -.75"
Hips: 52.5" -2"
Arms: 17" (left) and 16.5" (right) -1" and -.5"
Thighs: 27" (left) and 26" (right) No change and -1.5"
Grand Total Change: -10.8 pounds and -5.75"

And the pictures:



The Real After Pictures:

Ok, you might have guessed those middle photos aren't me. If you didn't, might I suggest you call your eye doctor? Those are just placeholders until I can get my son to take some new after pictures of me this afternoon. My company for the weekend was supposed to take them but ended up having to go home early. Check back later tonight for the real after photos. They will be here, I promise!

After pictures are now posted. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't see a difference. In fact, they make me wince...I guess instead we'll just have to look at the scale pictures...



This last picture is just here to serve as a reminder...Do not step backwards onto your scale while sweeping the floor. I did this last Monday, right after taking my picture. I stepped backwards right onto the display. So, today, I bury my old scale..the one who has come so far with me on this journey and I welcome the new scale (in today's photo) and hope that it will stand by me (or under me) as I continue this journey.

This week's numbers:
Average Daily Water Intake: 30oz, give or take
Workouts: Black Friday shopping, Thanksgiving dinner prep, wall pushups, sink plunging (yeah, we went non conventional workouts this week)
Weight Change: 260.6 (-8.2 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -31.0 pounds

MILI ending

And here we are at the end of Move It Lose It and, well...I probably should have moved it a little more and probably should have lost it a little more, but that's on me. I still ended up improving my overall health and weight...just not as much as I had hoped. This is a beginning and not an ending:

Starting scale

Ending scale

Starting front

Ending front

Starting back

Ending back
(Please ignore the side of my head. It was one of those days. :) )

start of MILI
Weight: 362.6
Chest: 59
Waist: 56.5
Hips: 51
Arms: 15" (left) and 17.5" (right)
Thighs: 25" (left) and 25" (right)

End of MILI:
Weight: 359.0 (-3.6)
Chest: 59 (0.0)
Waist: 55.0 (-1.5)
Hips: 51 (-0.0)
Arms: 16.5" (left) and 17.0" (right) (-1.0)
Thighs: 25" (left) and 25" (right) (-1.0)

Total, -3.6 pounds, -3.5 inches

(Note, still need to get the after pictures in. Those will be up this evening, never fear! In the mean time, look at my lovely placeholders!)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Mamavation Monday - It was bound to happen

Do you know this boy? I do. That's my oldest son standing outside of Spartan Stadium on Saturday morning. We were incredibly blessed to be gifted two tickets to attend Saturday's game against Indiana. Ben is what I'd call a superfan. He rarely misses a game if it's televised. He knows the players names. He cried when the quarterback came off the field to allow the second string quarterback a bit of experience. You see, the quarterback is a senior and this was his last home game.

My plans for this weekend didn't include driving 45 minutes to Lansing. I was going to clean (desperately needed) and focus on the holidays. Instead, we dropped everything and went. Know what? I wouldn't go back and change that decision for anything. This boy, so eager to see his team, didn't hesitate when faced with a huge flight of stairs up to our seats in the 59th row. Instead, he handed me his blanket and put one hand on the bench in front of him and hauled himself up. He hauled himself up all of those steps. He jumped to his feet cheering when his team scored. He threw himself at me and hugged me. He didn't let the fact that he has cerebral palsy slow him down one bit. He didn't complain when we had to walk down 8 flights (4 stories) worth of stairs after the game. He just did what he had to do and is already asking me if we can go again next year.

I need to take my inspiration from this little boy. He could have looked at those steps and said mom, I can't do this. Instead, he climbed. He could have stayed rooted in his seat because we were so far up but instead, he cheered and jumped up to support those guys down on the field.

This week, I've had roadblocks in so many aspects of my life. My house still looks like a tornado ripped through it. I lost days worth of kitchen cleaning and catch up because my sink blocked up. We got it fixed, just to find out that instead of fixed, it's now draining into the other sink. The plumber doesn't want to come back out even though he said it was fixed. Justin is still 2300 miles away with no sign of him being here anytime soon. It will probably be another 2 months until I see him again and then just for a weekend. The strain of the distance is especially horribly hard during the holidays. Take all that and the one week a month I hate hate hate to weigh in (women, you know which one) and the gain resulting from massive amounts of water retention and other blech and yeah, last night I said flat out, I want to admit defeat.

Will I? No. I'm going to try really hard to take a lesson from my son and just keep going, to focus on the good that's happening and hope that those who are around me this week can take a bit of inspiration instead of seeing only what I didn't get done.

Average Daily Water Intake: -- I'm honestly not sure.
Workouts: Friday swimming with the 5th graders & allll those stairs at the stadium with a few pushups thrown in.
Weight Change: 268.8 (+7 pounds) <-- The scale picture doesn't lie, but That's precisely what I lost last week. It will come off again.
Overall Weight Change: -22.8 pounds

Same as they ever was.

I'm hovering right around the same spot again. This is a bit frustrating. I skipped working out on Friday because I was poisoned at work all day by solvent fumes. I wonder if that's my missing .4 pounds. Annoying. Back to the gym today.

Weight: 359.6 (+0.4)

Friday, November 18, 2011

What the .... ????

Hmmm ... 274.4 plus 3.4 equals 277.8.  And that leads me to my post title.  What the????  I haven't really done too much wrong this week.  Lets break it down, shall we?

First the good: I made it all five days this week.  I hopped on my exercise bike every day this week and rode for fifteen minutes each day.  WOOHOO!  Another good thing: my water consumption is up, about 48oz per day.  My short term goal is 60oz.

Now the bad: I ate out a few more times this week than I had for the past couple weeks.  I love Shrimp Fried Rice and Kowloon Chicken from Wong's Wok.  It took me a long time to get off the burgers, but now I need to find a better way to structure my food consumption of my new favorite fast food.  I know what the problem is: portion size ... they really load you up there.  If I were smart, I would bring a nice storage bowl and put half of it in there.  Oh, and if I eat out, I do it later in the day, so it throws my eating schedule off whack.

As the old saying goes, he knows what to do, he just doesn't do it.

Well, lets see what next week brings, shall we?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Three in a row ...

... can I make it all five?  Since Monday, I have been getting up as soon as my alarm goes off and hopping on my exercise bike for fifteen minutes of riding. Sure fifteen isn't alot, but it is more than I had been doing, which is zero.

More importantly, I have noticed a distinct change in my energy level during the day, and my attitude along with that.  Both are better wit the morning exercise than without.

Now before you say it, yes, I know.  I should remember this from before when I was riding the bike regularly.  All of the literature says exercise is good for the energy level and emotional well-being.  I know, I know,  So now, I just have to keep going.  Will I make it all five days this week?  I'll let you know on my usual Friday post!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

New Workout

As one of the Mamavation #Homework Gurus, I'm a major advocate of using homework as a workout. Not sure what homework is, well maybe this new workout this will help you. I personally think it looks like a lot of fun!

What do y'all think?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Umm...What?

I don't really know where to start this week. I could tell you how I spent the entire week still sick but slowly getting better. I could tell you how I barely drank any water at all. I could tell you that I saw my first snow storm of the year. I could tell you about a lot of things and they would all be true. Instead, it's my family that weighs on my heart today.

As some people know, my grandmother is dying. She has stage 4 inoperable colo-rectal cancer that has moved to her lungs and her liver. Yesterday, we called her. We were supposed to go visit her but with me still having the dregs of something and the kids being a bit sniffly, we didn't want to risk her getting sick because of us. It was the first time since her diagnosis that she warned me, in her own way, that she wouldn't be here much longer. The reality is that this is probably our last Thanksgiving with her and she didn't seem so positive that she would be here for Christmas. I could hear it in her voice when we talked about me swapping holidays with the boys' dad. I didn't want to do it but she wanted me to.  I still don't want to but now I think I need to see if there's a compromise to be worked out. This breaks my heart. She's the only mother I ever knew and soon, I'm going to lose her. At that point, I'll basically be an orphan.

And now that I've totally depressed us all...I should focus on some positive. This past week was parent-teacher conferences. I'm so proud of my boys. They both did amazingly well. Ben had 4 A's and 2 B+'s. Roger had all A's except for one B. I guess all that time we spend doing homework is paying off. Did I mention that I'm super proud of them?

Another accomplishment this week? My bathroom is officially done! I'm going to be writing up a post over at Life With Katie sometime this week that should include before, during and after pictures. Until then, though...let's look at some numbers:

Average Daily Water Intake: 20oz (I drank more juice that water this week.)
Workouts: Nothing other than normal running around stuff.
Weight Change: 261.8 (-7 pounds) <-- The scale picture doesn't lie, but
Overall Weight Change: -29.8 pounds

Does anyone know which way the numbers are supposed to go?

Clearly mine are going the wrong way. I have to say it's very frustrating to see a bounce like this. Normally I'm very optimistic and I'm going to continue to be. My weight is up this week, and next week it's going to be back down. I need to do better on the water again, since I was so busy at work last week, that I didn't do as well as I like to. Also I need to plan a little better on portions. Tonight is pork chops and I expect to have a start of a good week. How did you all do this week?

Today's weight: 359.2 +2.4 pounds

Gold Star

I did it!  I got on my exercise bike this morning and got in 15 minutes of riding.  This is my goal ... fifteen minutes each morning when I first wake up.  I understand that the first day of any exercise program is the hardest.  But than again, I am sure the econd day will be just as hard.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Baby Steps

Sometimes weight loss is a study in what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.  I have done plenty of wrong in recent days, and now I have finally gotten some right in there.  there is only one problem ... I am not sure what I am doing right.

I still haven't started exercising.  I am still not drinking enough water.  I am still eating out too much.  Those are my major wrongs.  But guess what, I am down another fraction to 274.4.  So somewhere, I am doing something right.  Maybe it was the Halloween candy.

I like to have lots of candy for trick-or-treating.  I remember loving knocking on doors as a kid, just to walk away with a tasty prize, and so I hate to disappoint the young ghouls and goblins when they come to my door.  This year, I got my huge bowl of candy together.  I flopped out on the couch to wait for the doorbell, and promptly fell asleep.  I had had a busy few days prior and was totally wiped.  So I missed the doorbell.  That left me with a huge bowl of candy, and only one mouth in the house ... mine.

So, I took the huge bowl of candy, dumped it in a bag, and took it to school.  Now I ask questions, and when a student gets it right, I toss them a piece of candy.  They are happy, and I am not eating the candy.  It is a win-win!

The holidays are coming, and I am sure I will waver a few times during the holidays.  Last year, I tried out a recipe for mashed cauliflower (to replace mashed potatoes) but used too much milk.  I will try to get it right this year.

Well, that's all for now.  If anyone has a good healthy holiday recipe, let me know!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Sick of Being Sick

Ahhh! I cannot stop smiling when I see this picture. That is the very sexy and very talented Raven Gregory over there and he is holding up a sign that he wrote wishing me to feel better! Ok, I'm trying not to go all fangirl but I have to confess to having a bit of a crush on this guy. He's good looking, talented, smart and really nice. He's incredibly down to earth and he did that for me! Ok wow, my fangirlness is getting out of control so I'm going to take a few deep breathes, not imagine what it would be like to actually hang out with him and get back onto the track of this post.

So, as you can see by the sign (do not insert fangirl squeal here), I've been sick. Honestly, I've been flat out ill. It's been horrible. It included swollen and painful tonsils, fevers, aching, head/throat/chest congestion and general ickiness. Thankfully, a week later and we're down to just wracking coughs that lead to never having enough sleep. I'm on the mend though, thank goodness!

However, due to my ickiness, I don't really have a lot to report this week. When I wasn't taking care of the boys, I was flat out in bed for the most part. I do apologize for my absence but rest was required. I should be back more this week, though!  Now, for the numbers:

Average Daily Water Intake: 30oz (I didn't even want water, I felt so crummy!)
Workouts: Just Dance with the boys (while sitting on the couch)
Weight Change: 274.6 (-5.8 pounds) <-- This is what total lack of appetite does.
Overall Weight Change: -22.8 pounds

Mamavation Monday Question:

How has Type II diabetes affected your life?
Diabetes is something that is on my mind fairly frequently. I have not one, but three different friends who deal with this on a daily basis. In fact, Jim, who is a regular contributor here is one of those friends. I've watched him work on bringing it under control and we've talked about how being a healthy weight is a part of that. It's one of the reasons I'm trying to get my weight back down into the healthy range. My family has a predisposition to having problems with Diabetes and like I've said many a time, I don't intend on becoming a statistic. 
 “This post is sponsored by Better’n Eggs and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women” 

PS Want to know more about the hottie at the top? He's a comic book author. You can find his work at Seriously, he's good stuff.

Back on track

Starting back in the right direction again. I had a weird adventures in gymnasium event this week. I managed to forget to take my lock off of my locker at the gym on Weds after I was done getting dressed in street clothes again and discovered on Friday that someone took it and kept it. That's right, someone stole my combination lock. Without knowing what the combination is. Some people will steal anything, I guess. Been working the dadavation challenge too and I guess that's been enough working out, since I edged down this week after edging up the last two. It's nice to be back on the path again.

Weight: 356.8 (down 2.2 this week. Down 5.8 since the start)
Water: more than humans should consume. I seriously drink a ton of water.

Friday, November 4, 2011

In a holding pattern ...

Another week wondering ... why o why am I stuck?  This morning's weigh in: 275.6.  That is actually up a fraction.  Hmmmmmmmmm.  OK, to be honest, I haven't been "working" at losing weight lately.  I have been rather discouraged about the whole thing lately.  I know what I NEED to do, I am just not doing it.

Well, OK, maybe little things here and there.  For instance, I am slowly ratcheting up my water intake.  Everyone knows that water intake is beneficial to weight loss.  I have been grazing a lot lately at night, and I really need to change that.  I have a HUGE bowl of Halloween candy from trick or treating (I fell asleep on the couch during trick or treating and missed all the kids ringing the bell).  I have been taking that to school in little dribs and drabs and using it as inducements to students when asking questions.

Now on to the future:  I will try to drink more water and eat better this week ... I'll let you know how it all goes.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Bleh monday

Up .8 today. That's annoying, but it could have been a lot worse. Excellent weekend with too much fun and not quite as much working out as I thought I did. :) It certainly could have turned out worse. A shoutout to Katrina for an awesome milestone today. She crashed through the 275 barrier and I'm so proud of her. I'm going to update this post later today with measurements, I think. Hope I'm reshaping my body. It would be nice, since I hurt every post workout. :P
Everyone keep pounding away and we'll all get to healthy together.

start of MILI
Weight: 362.6
Chest: 59
Waist: 56.5
Hips: 51
Arms: 15" (left) and 17.5" (right)
Thighs: 25" (left) and 25" (right)

Weight: 359.0 (-3.6)
Chest: 59 (0.0)
Waist: 55.5 (-1.0)
Hips: 51 (-0.0)
Arms: 16.5" (left) and 17.0" (right) (-1.0) Nope I don't get it either. Yay symmetry.
Thighs: 24.5" (left) and 25" (right) (-0.5)

Total, -3.6 pounds, -2.5 inches

Mamavation Monday - Breaking Through.

Wow, I am so late in writing this post but I...nope, I don't have a super good reason. That's ok, though. Sometimes things happen at a different time and it's for whatever reason that it is.

*grins* Ok, I'm tired. I admit it and when I'm tired my posts sometimes make no sense at all. If that's what happens here, I beg your forgiveness and tolerance. Just leave me some oddly funny or bizarre comment and we'll be even. ;)

I just had the most wonderful awesome and fantastic weekend. Justin flew in on Friday and we went to Toledo for the weekend. We got to see great people perform a shadowcast of Repo: The Genetic Opera and then went and had the privilege of hanging out at the amazing Chris and Lauren's house. It was so good to just be in the company of friends being silly. Don't get me wrong, I have the brainiac side of life too but sometimes you just want to be able to relax and not feel the pressure that being a geek brings.  The best part is that after the masses leave, you never know where the conversation might lead.

Saturday was super fantastical too. We slept too late, had breakfast and rushed back to Chris and Lauren's. Lauren cut my hair like the pro she is and we got to have a wonderful lunch out with their family. Afterwards, the rest of the day was ours so we went back to the hotel and hit the pool. Maybe I ought to say the pool hit us! The chlorine level was so high in the pool that when I rinsed out Justin's shorts (which are old and have been washed a billion times), they were dripping purple dye. Ewww!

You know what, my brain is scrambled right now. The truth is..we had an amazing weekend and now that it's done, I'm struggling today. Our times together are so amazing that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and knowing that it will probably be close to 4 months until I see him again tears me up. Leaving him at the airport yesterday broke my heart and I could barely drive away.

What does this all lead to? A crudload of emo eating..mindless shoving of food in my face so that I'm distracted from the gaping hole in my heart by filling the much smaller one in my stomach. I'm not going to lie to you. I ate an entire pizza last night over the course of 7 hours. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it, either. It happened. Today, I'll be a little bit stronger and I won't do that.

Short summary? The weekend together was heaven. The time with our friends (because now they're his friends too) was wonderful. The kick ass boots he bought me? In the words of the sales girl? They look epic on me. The desperate kisses at the airport? Slightly tragic. The drive home? miserable. Today? A new day. A new chance. The scale? See below.

My numbers?

Average Daily Water Intake: 75oz (doing better!)
Workouts: 3000 step challenge x2 days + Pool time + 1mile on an exercise bike
Weight Change: 274.6 (-0.6 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -17 pounds

After 2 week challenge/at start of MILI:
Weight: 276.8 (really 276.4 but I'm going with the scale picture for this) -1.6 pounds
Chest: 48"
Waist: 40.75" -4.75"
Hips: 54.5" 
Arms: 18" (left) and 17" (right) -1" and -.5"
Thighs: 27" (left) and 27.5" (right) -1" and -1.5"
Grand Total Change: -1.6 pounds and -8.75"

At halfway point of MILI:
Weight: 274.6 -2.2 pounds
Chest: 48" 
Waist: 40.25" -0.5"
Hips: 54.0"  -0.5"
Arms: 18" (left) and 16" (right) -0" and -1.0"
Thighs: 27" (left) and 27" (right) -0" and -0.5"
Grand Total Change: -2.2 pounds and -2.5"

Some of you know that my Friday morning (just for the heck of it) weigh in was quite a bit less than that. It's ok. I did it once, I can do that again. I traded the weight loss this week for a weekend of not being hyper focused, just vaguely focused on my weight loss but intensely focused on the man I love and what we have together.  I'm a very lucky girl to have such an incredible man in my life and I know this was just a temporary tradeoff in our journey of life together. 

Friday, October 28, 2011

A scary moment ...

So last week on Wednesday, I was asked to run another teacher to the hospital.  He was having mild cardiac symptoms, and needed to get  to the hospital.  I got him there, and a few hours later, we got the word that he had had a mild heart attack.  This of course has created a little concern for me, as he is in better shape than me.

Of course, do I do anything about it?  I talk a good talk, but when it comes time to put my words into action, not so much.  I actually did get on my exercise bike twice this week, and on the elliptical once.  But the real test is the total action.  Lately, I have been on a bit of an eating binge, but I am slowly getting it under control.  Now If I can get consistent on the bike, well, that would be awesome.

My weigh in this week was 275.2, which is a whopping .2 loss.  Wow?  Whatever happened to my 1-2 pounds per week?  Oh wait, that's right, I have been grazing like an overmilked cow.  Once I get the grazing under control I will hopefully get back on track.

This weekend is the annual Ice Age Trail chili campout at Lapham Peak State Park.  I will take a bunch of pictures and post them and see if I can find some great (healthy) recipes, but a chili campout may not be the best place to find them ...

Here's hoping for the future!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Distractions!

You know you took one look at that picture and either went, "Huh?" or you started giggling. It is the oddest looking scale I've seen in a very long time. Why did I post it? Well because of the camera/scale war I have going on in this house. You see, taking a picture of your scale number is so much harder than it sounds. For me it involves the following steps:

1. Turn camera on.
2. Get camera zoomed in on the scale.
3. Set camera to the side.
4. Get scale turned on.
5. Step on scale.
6. Madly grab for camera when number comes up.
7. Get annoyed because camera strap has fallen in the picture.
8. Wrap said strap around camera.
9. Set camera to the side.
10. Repeat until you either scream in frustration and storm off or manage to get a blurry picture.

So, that's what I did this morning. Then, I sat down to write the post and discovered my camera hadn't saved the photo! Argh! I stomped back into the bathroom (which my pedometer happily recognized as steps) and tried this whole process again. The scale said I'd gained .4 pounds in 5 minutes! Really scale? I know you're ticked by this process but give me a break.

Now, for the past few months, I've been weighing myself in the bathroom. My bathroom (not because I want it!) has carpet. I discovered this morning that depending where I put the scale, my weight changed. How's that for accuracy? So, I moved it to the only piece of linoleum we have...which is right in front of my front door. That didn't work because it slants. Then, for my own amusement, I put it on the living room carpet. I instantly lost 30 pounds! Man, as much as I hate this carpet, I might keep it for that reason alone. I wish I'd gotten a picture.  Finally, I settled on the kitchen because it has super thin and rather useless carpet and the 10 times I stepped on and off the scale (that's how many attempts it took to get a picture!), the number stayed the same unlike other locations. So, to my neighbors...if you read this, don't look in my kitchen window on Monday mornings because you might get a show you didn't want to see. Or heck, I'm looking better these days..maybe you do want to see...

Right, that was a long tangent, huh? Long story, short..I posted that carpet covered scale in honor of my living room carpet which loves me. Now, since I know y'all have lots more blog posts to read and leave love for, let me show you this week's numbers...starting with the scale picture that I eventually got.

I hope you can see that number. It's a bit dark and now I realized I was zoomed in pretty far but those are my toes on there. I seriously need to remove the old nail polish and either redo them or leave them bare. This half painted look is not so sexy and since I get to see Justin this weekend, sexy is my goal. Homework is just that much nicer when a person is feeling sexy, don't you think?

Uh-oh, I'm tangenting again. I swear I have oooh shiney syndrome this morning. Seriously. That's a real thing, just like Wii arm. See? There I go again...I'd better give you the numbers before I spin off into space....

Average Daily Water Intake: 75oz (doing better!)
Workouts: 3000 step challenge x4 days + 3 Gruntstyle workouts
Weight Change: 275.2 (-2.8 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -16.4 pounds

Now, for this week's Mamavation Question:
How would you brand your health and wellness lifestyle?  How do you want others to know you in this area?

Brand it? I'm not honestly sure. I guess Welcoming Weight Loss is my way of branding it. I want people to see that I'm a very real person with very real struggles in this area. I have those that I look up to and those who look up to me (though this is wow for me!). I'm successful, in part, due to the people that I have along for this ride and without them, this would be so much more difficult. I'm not actively looking to expand this brand, though the door is open for anyone who needs a Weight Loss home though knowing me, if they're female, they'll be pulled right into Mamavation too.
This post is sponsored by New Balance and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women.

Move it, lose it! *

* actual losing it may vary....

So this week I worked out hard on improving muscle mass and strength. I hit the gym 3 times this week to lift and I think I may have over moved it and under lost it, since I backslid slightly. I'm not horribly concerned. Muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so I'm planning ahead. :)

Here's your picture:

So for the week, I'm actually UP 0.2 pounds. Not too worried. I'll be down next week.

Off to do a billion pushups for papavation monday.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Goal Setting or Small Steps, Big Goals

I love this picture. I don't know if you can tell, but each of those containers holds giant amount of Legos with the tag line What Will You Make? When I saw this, I knew I had to use it for this post. You see, today I'm going to tell you why I chose 1,000 steps as my first goal towards walking my way into a healthier life.

Y'all know what Legos are, right? They're these tiny building blocks that you can hook all together to make some seriously awesome creations. At the bottom of this post, I'm going to show you just a few of the things people have made. Seriously, I almost didn't get to this post because I was so buy geeking out over Lego creations.

Here's where the simile/metaphor/other geeky english language term comes in. Like Legos, you can change and build a healthier you, one building block/one step at a time. You've heard me say babysteps probably a million times now and it's a practice and theory that I totally subscribe to and believe in. We all want to be super human. We all want to do it now but let's face it, that's just not realistic for most of us.

Let's take walking for our example. I know there are people out there who walk 10,000 or more steps a day on average and that's awesome for them. As for me, if I tried that I'd never get off the couch. The very number would overwhelm me to the point where I'd get nothing done. So, I wore my pedometer for a few days and then averaged out what I get in a normal day. Are you ready for this? On an average day, I was only getting in about 500 steps. Ouch! That's not good and I think we all know that. I needed to make a change but one that was achievable.

Here is the major important point to this. Our goals need to be achievable. Yes, they need to challenge us or they're not really a goal. However, if we do not make them achievable, we won't reach them and where will we be? Right back on the couch with our favorite tub of icecream while watch Biggest Loser and say why can't that be me? Why can't I do that? Hello! Those people have nothing to do but workout! We have lives, kids, jobs and more.

Make your goals achievable. For me, I looked at my average and said I can do better than that. I can do 1000 steps a day. Once I get 1000 every day for a few days, I'll up it to 2000. Know what? I had a cheering squad behind me last night and I got to over 2000. It felt amazing! Today, I have a step partner and we've challenged ourselves to do 2000 again. Once we're regularly hitting that goal, that number will go up.

My advice is simple. Perhaps so simple that you're going to read this and go duh, we all knew that! It doesn't matter what goal you're trying to reach, take it slow and break it down. Are you not reaching your daily water goal? Take a look at what you're getting on average and then increase it by 8oz. That's one small glass of water. Keep increasing it slowly and seriously, before you know it, you'll be right up with those folks getting in 100oz a day.

I know some people who have had some real reality checks in their lives lately. They want to rebuild themselves, inside and out. My advice to them has been the same. Take it one step, one piece at a time. You didn't become this person overnight and you won't change overnight. You can babystep your way to being a better person. Someone once asked me how I'd eat an elephant..the correct answer? Umm..I wouldn't ewww...the answer they wanted? One bite at a time.

So, like these folks built these amazing Lego structures one brick at a time, let's change our lives one small, healthy goal at a time.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Failure

Ugh. The truth is that I don't want to post this week. I stepped on the scale this morning, full of hope and stepped back off in tears. Not only was there no loss but I gained. I thought I'd done so much better this past week. I was watching portion control. I was trying to eat healthier. I wasn't perfect  but I was better than in other weeks where I did lose. I'm embarrassed. I feel like I let everyone who has been cheering for me down. I blew it. I failed. How can I expect to be an inspiration when I can't lose the weight myself? I'm so sorry everyone.

I wish I had more to say but somehow that scale picture says it all...

Average Daily Water Intake: 75oz (doing better!)
Workouts: Gruntstyle 2 week challenge 4x
Weight Change: 278.0 (+1.6 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -13.6 pounds

Question: What parts of your body are you especially proud of right now? What makes you love them?
An honest answer? Right now there aren't any that I'm especially proud of. I'm feeling rather miserable about myself right now after a gain on the first week of MILI. I need to reevaluate and to try to remember:

Failure does not mean I’m a failure;
It does mean I have not yet succeeded.

Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing;
It does mean I have learned something.

Failure does not mean I have been a fool;
It does mean I had enough faith to experiment.

Failure does not mean I have disgraced;
It does mean I have dared to try.

Failure does not mean I don’t have it;
It does mean I have something to do in a different way.

Failure does not mean I am inferior;
It does mean I am not perfect.

Failure does not mean I have wasted my life;
It does mean that I have an excuse to start over.

Failure does not mean that I should give up;
It does mean that I should try harder.

Failure does not mean that I will never make it;
It does mean that I need more practice.

Failure does not mean that You have abandoned me;
It does mean that You must have a better idea.

This post is sponsored by Grunt Styleand I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women.

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