Health Update

Self-Diagnosis Can Be Scary

I can't believe that it's been an entire month since I posted here! I have no excuses, just life. Still, for those of you who do follow along at home and for my own sanity, I wanted to post an update.

Last week, I went and had my yearly blood work done. Well, I went, they stabbed me and took 3 vials of blood and then I went and had my tattoo worked on while they worked on my blood.

Today, I saw that the lab results were up on my patient portal and being one who doesn't like to be surprised at the doctor's office, I took a look. Really, I'm not sure if this is a good habit or a bad habit. After all, with me, something is always wrong with the results. Usually, it's my cholesterol. It's something that I've had a problem with since I was in my 20s.

Today? There was a whole slew of things and, of course, I had to go look them up to see what they mean. Since I figure no one should ever freak out alone, I'm going to break them down for you and tell you the worst possible meaning...Ready?

CBC Test

Gran # - 9.4 (normal: 2.0-8.1)
Red Cell Distribution Width - 14.4 (normal:11.5-14)

White Blood Count - 13.9 (normal: 4.8-10.8)

• Gran # stands for granulocytes. According to one website, "Granulocytosis occurs when there are too many granulocytes in the blood. It’s a condition that’s closely related to chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML) and other bone marrow disorders.

Granulocytes are white blood cells that have small granules or particles. These granules contain numerous proteins that are responsible for helping the immune system fight off viruses and bacteria. Neutrophils, eosinophils, and basophils are three types of granulocytes."

Leukemia and one marrow disorders, you say? Oh well now...that's nothing to panic over.

• Red Cell Distribution Width ...I didn't even know that this was thing until today. Of course, research was needed and I found this gem:

"High RDW and normal MCV. This suggests a deficiency of iron, B-12, or folate. It may also indicate chronic liver disease."

Woot! Leukemia and chronic liver disease! I'm on a roll here!

• Of course, we know that a high WBC means most likely there's an infection of some sort...I'd say that leukemia and chronic liver disease may fall under this....

In all seriousness, if I didn't know that it's most likely my Glucose levels being borderline diabetic causing not only these but my Albumin and Globulin levels to be off, I'd probably be completely panicking by now. Granted, the WBC does throw me a bit, but I suspect that it's nothing more serious than the ongoing allergy issues that I have every summer. 

So, odds are that I don't have a) liver failure b) leukemia or the popular WebMD conclusion c) cancer.

Instead, what I have is a body that is screaming out for healthier foods, more water and some exercise. On some levels, that's almost as scary to me because it seems like this huge thing...I mean, realistically, I need to lose around 150 pounds and I no desire or ability to go through surgery to do so. 

My insurance won't cover anything like a nutritionist or a gym membership. So, this is all me. I have to do this. If someone is going to save me, it has to be me. No pressure, right? Okay, only all the pressure. Yep...all the pressure and I'm feeling it tonight. 

So, what's a girl to do who is freaking out a tiny bit and working their way into a panic attack? She takes a few deep breathes and then together with all of you, she starts making a plan....

I'd already started making a few baby steps towards this.  I've stopped buying any chips or cookies. I haven't really bought any soda, either. There are all three in the house (well, maybe not on the cookies. I'm not actually sure) and I'm not just going to pitch them into the trash. I will be rationing them, however. I actually haven't had any soda in about a month. 

Does that mean I've switched to all water? No, I'm afraid that it doesn't. I've switched to pink lemonade and flavored bottled teas. Like I said, baby steps. From now on, I'm going to start filling my travel mug up with three mugs of water before I have anything else. I'm not cutting it out of my life, but I am cutting back on it. 

My kitchen is an utter tip so I need to work on getting that back into a functioning space. I've already started slowly emptying the fridge of anything that nobody is ever going to eat. This should make room for healthier choices and things that I actually want to eat. 

Meal planning is going to be a big one. I recently added a meal playing layout to my bullet journal so that will help, I think. If I can plan ahead, it will mean less frozen dinners tossed into the microwave. I really need to get away from the processed foods that have been my life since my last major bout of depression.

My Weekly Meal Plan Layout

I think one last thing to kick this off. I already have a habit tracker in my bullet journal for each month, but I think I'm going to create a second one. It's going to be completely dedicated towards getting physically healthier. I'll move my water, no soda and no candy ones to it and also add things like : ate three meals today, tracked my calories today, etc. to it. It will make my other one smaller but that's okay. I need to have a place where this is all right in front of me.

Let's summarize my current 4 step plan towards baby stepping to being healthier:

1. More water, less sugared drinks.
2. Sorting out the kitchen.
3. Meal planning.
4. Healthy Habits tracker for my bullet journal.

That really doesn't seem like much but I also know that I can't overwhelm myself or none of those numbers above will get any better. 

Now, if you've read this far, you're a total superhero. Please feel free to reach out to me with your stories or your encouragement. I'm so thankful for every single person that takes the time to read here. 

Health and Wellbeing

I don't post here nearly as much as I should and I guess that's because life happens and I stop focusing on my weight and that journey to frantically try to keep all of the other plates spinning.
That's life though, isn't it? Just when we think we have things under control, something happens and suddenly we don't.

The last time I wrote here, I had no way of knowing that a mere month later, my world would come crashing down and I would go into a state of mourning so deep that just getting out of bed each day was a challenge.
But, here we are again and I've made a decision. While the name of this blog is Welcoming Weight Loss, it doesn't have to just be about weight loss. After all, so much of what goes into getting into place where you can safely lose weight is making sure that there's a balance in other areas of your life as well.

Nobody panic. I'm not going to start writing about my kids or my day to day life here. I do think though that from time to time, there will be posts about health in its many forms. Some of you realize that I have mental health issues that I deal with. There's also just life balance. When that's out of whack, it's so easy to just let things slide and if you're me, it's me that gets put to the side.

So, where is this all coming from? Well that's an easy answer. I've been thinking lately that it's past time for me to start taking care of myself more. The weather is getting nicer (when it isn't cold and raining...gotta love Spring in Michigan!) and the house is slowly coming to order. Those things are helping clear the cobwebs from my head (some) and so I decided to go and get my prescriptions refilled. I haven't been taking anything for a while and decided that needed to change.

Except, the pharmacy said they didn't have anything on file for me. It seems I'd used up my refills a while ago and nobody had told me. So, I went online and requested more refills. Easy enough, right? Well it would have been except my doctor's office called and insisted that I set an appointment to have a physical. Ugh. Like 90% of the world, I'm horrible about going to the doctor even when I am sick. To go when I'm not sick...yeah, that almost never happens. Still, I reminded myself about taking care of me and that means sucking it up and going in. Appointment set for June 28th and yesterday, I picked up my prescriptions (one was missing so I need to follow up on that).

I don't take a lot of medication but one of the things that I am supposed to be on is a blood pressure pill. Between my stress levels and my weight, my blood pressure is high. So, phase I of getting my health back to being a priority is to start taking that pill again. I took the first one last night and that's a good first step. Now, I need to get into the habit of taking one each night before bed. I can't take them during the day because they put me to sleep. Phase II is happening a bit alongside phase I. I'm continuing to get my kitchen in order so that I can cook proper meals and not rely on what's quick and easy and usually totally processed.

This is going to be a long haul but I'm hoping that even with these small steps, I won't get totally chewed out at my doctor's appointment next month. It sucks a lot to go into the doctor's office and have your doctor tell you that they're about to give up on you because obviously you don't care about your health. That's what happened the last time I went in...I left really hurt because I'd actually started making changes and had lost about 10 pounds. This time, perhaps I'll stand up for myself if she doesn't see what she wants to see. I guess we'll see...

Going Down

I stepped on the scale today for the first time since I was at the doctor's office. I think that was about two weeks ago. I suppose I could check, but the time really doesn't matter. What matters is that today, even though I'm having a bad brain, really tired kinda day, I climbed the two sets of stairs up to the community center weight room and I stepped onto that scale. Of course, I had to fiddle with it because you always have to fiddle with the ones where you slide the things across to get your weight.

I was nervous at first because my first real goal that I set was to get below 300 pounds and since 300 is the top of the bottom slider thing and I can never figure out which direction to move the other slider thing, I tend to freak myself out a little bit. Too many years of either nurses doing it or digital scales have caused us to lose certain abilities? Okay, I probably never had that ability to begin with and now I'm just chattering so let's move along...

300 had the bar just sitting there so I moved it to 250 and then started fussing with the top one. Maybe after a while more of doing this it will be a faster process but it took me a minute or two until I got that darn bar balanced and not thwapping itself down. The result? 297. Yep. By simply monitoring my food intake over the past month, I have gone from 318 down to 297. 21 pounds. Not bad for the girl whose doctor told her a year ago that it was impossible for her to lose weight by herself and told her that she should seriously consider weight loss surgery.

Did I eat perfectly during that? Nope. I had one or two days where I went over the calorie amount set for me by the My Fitness Pal app. I honestly haven't stepped foot on the treadmill in probably a month simply because finding any spare time is impossible at this point. My food choices? Not the healthiest but I have started cooking again slowly and I have been honest with myself about what I'm eating and drinking. No hiding things from the app and therefore from myself.

I also haven't made a big deal about my attempts this time. I don't post about it on Facebook or even talk about it outside of a couple of people. Yes, these posts do go up over on my fan page and to my personal page, but I don't draw attention to them. Is this important? It is to me. I needed to prove to myself that even though it would be harder, I could do this on my own. I know that people are there if I have questions or need support, but I want to do this as much on my own as possible. I need to show myself that I am capable of will power and of learning what I need to learn.

So now that I've made my first goal, I have to decide what's next. For me, it's a continuation of my current goals... track my eating habits, learn from them, work on my water intake (always a tough one for me), and yes, there's a new weight goal. 290. Yep, only 7 pounds, but that's how I'm doing this...one pound, two pounds, ten pounds at a time. I have a long way to go and there's no need to freak myself out by looking at the big number. I'll get there and maybe in a year or so, I'll be able to say that I'm on my last 10 pounds to get to that number. Until then though, it's babysteps and little goals.

Making Changes

For too long, I've taken my life and my health for granted. Sure, there have been periods where I've made some vague effort and there was a period where I made a solid effort and oh my gosh, I felt so much better physically and even emotionally.

Then, as we all know, I not only dropped the ball, but I then kicked it into the neighbor's yard. You know, the one who has the dog like the one in Sandlot? The yard that has the high fence, the scary dog, and you're terrified to step one foot into it? Yep, for the past few years, that's where my ball has been and for whatever reason, I've been terrified to go and get my ball back.

A few months ago, I decided that it was time to creep around the yard to see if I could find a way in. I cut soda out of my life and I tried to increase my water intake. I don't know if it's helped any, but it certainly hasn't hurt.

Then, just over a week ago, I went and had my yearly blood work done and the results terrified me. Not only was I anemic (brought on by an ugly depo-provera reaction where I have an over the top heavy period that lasted a month straight), but I'm also borderline diabetic. Granted, that result could be from the anemia, but is it really worth that risk?

So, after a few days of meltdowns and panicking, I decided that it was time to step a foot over the boundary line and into the yard and to find my ball. After all, drool covered or not, it's my ball, not someone else's. Nobody else can fix this for me. This is something that I have to do for myself. I need to pick up the ball, wipe off the dust, drool, and anything else that's collected on it and relearn how to handle it.

What does all this ball talk mean? It means that I've recommitted to keeping soda out of my life and out of the house. I've been limiting myself to one a week and sometimes I don't have any. I've been drinking more water. It's still not enough but any is better than the none that I was doing. I've walked into my kitchen and I've started cleaning it up so that it can be used properly. When I went shopping this past weekend, I created a meal plan in advance and stuck with my list.

I was and am proud of all of those inchings into the yard, but yesterday, for the first time in a very long time, I didn't inch. I took an actual step. Instead of just having a meal plan and ignoring it, I followed it. I unloaded groceries from the car, I washed up what I needed and I made a rather tasty Indian Curry for dinner last night. Other than the tomato paste, there wasn't a single processed ingredient in it. Even the sauce was made from scratch. It had veggies in it and things that are good for a person to eat. After dinner, I even packaged up the leftovers and washed up the dishes. This, I am incredibly proud of.

You see, it's incredibly easy for me to become overwhelmed and instead of running with the ball, I just kind of nudge it along and then forget about it under a bush or something. Except last night, even when something else was overwhelming and upsetting me, I didn't. I followed through. I followed through and now have delicious lunches for the rest of the week.

Then today, I took another step and instead of driving to the post office, I walked there and then came back the longer route. It's not huge, but it was .69 miles that I walked instead of drove. The weather was warm, the leaves crunchy underfoot and I feel all the better for doing it. Small changes. 15-20 minute a day changes, but pretty soon I'll be seeing just what I can do with that ball and with my life...the life I want to be around for.

2013...A Year About Me

So, it's been a while, huh? It's been a while because well ...I haven't really been focused on much more than health survival for the past few months, it seems. First, it was bronchitis at the start of October. That lasted darn near a month. I just got better from that and then it was mental health survival time as I was personally and publicly attacked due to my close friendship with someone. I won't go into more detail than that. No handing power away as they say. Then came Thanksgiving and immediately after, I wasn't feeling good so I drove myself 30 minutes to the ER just to find out that I had gallstones! Fast forward two weeks and the gall bladder was gone! Just when I thought I was on the road to good health, I came down with stomach flu! Seriously! Here's to a healthier 2013!

Now, a few years ago, I gave up on resolutions and decided to go with words or concepts to work towards in the upcoming year. For the past two years, my word was simplicity. This year, it is still going to be simplicity but I'm adding in simplicity in all things. That's right. You guessed it. That includes things such as diet and exercise. Let's face it. Gyms are nice but not all of us live near one or can afford a membership. Let's also face it. I don't need a gym. Treadmills are awesome but I have a perfectly good road right outside my door.

So, other than hoping to snag some pool time, chances are you won't be seeing me at a gym this year. I have all of the tools that I need right here at home. I have half a dozen workout/yoga/walking dvds. I have fantastic workouts that were put together when I was still a part of Mamavation. These work. I know that they work because they were working for me before.

As for diet, I'm getting back into the kitchen. No, my kitchen still isn't perfect and I still don't have a working sink, but look at it this way...carrying dishes to the bathtub and back is extra steps. Twisting to put the clean dishes up on the towel rack to dry is like stretching. It's a mini workout in itself. My pedometer finally has a new battery so hopefully I should be getting that back on and keeping track of those numbers.

Do y'all remember my little thing that used to go on the bottom of my posts? Where I kept track of number of workouts, average amount of water drank and pounds lost (or gained)? It's coming back. It was a good visual reminder of where I needed to go and where I had been.

Now, for the question that I'm sure is on some of your minds...how many pounds in 2013? I'm not setting that number. You see, it's about being healthy and getting healthy. Yes, I have weight to lose. Yes, I have a lot of weight to lose. Do I have an overall goal? Sure I do. Am I going to pressure myself and stress myself about achieving it in a set amount of time? Heck no.

So what am I waiting for? Medical clearance. I have my post surgery follow up on Friday where I'm sure that I'm going to get the all clear. Once I have that, it's back to the lunges, sit ups and squats. The bigger question is...Who will join me on this journey?

I've never done this, but if you need a place to journal about your journey, let me know. I'm going to be opening the site up for those who need a place for support and to write about their healthy lifestyle changes and journeys.

Here's to 2013...the year of healthier and happier people!

PS If you're looking for those numbers, they'll start with the next post after I get an official (fully clothed with shoes)weigh in at the doctor's office on Friday.

Mamavation Monday: Functioning Spaces

Image courtesy of clearsimpleliving.com

How often do you feel like this fellow over on the left? More often than not, this is just how I feel. I feel wrapped up in chaos. I walk into a space and my brain short circuits. "I can't deal with this. There's no way I can make this work." These are the phrases I've told myself. It's frustrating to walk into a space and not have the first clue where to start.

Today, I'm here to help with that. In fact, when I'm done, you're going to say duh and leave me some comment about how this whole post is pure common sense. I'm ok with that. I write for myself as much as I write for anyone out there who may come across this.

Since this is my handy dandy blog about weight loss, I'm going to focus on the kitchen as our space. Let's face it. Without an effective kitchen space, this weight loss journey becomes ten times as hard as it should be. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into my kitchen, looked around, sighed and turned right back around and begged Justin to order me a pizza for dinner. Why? Because somewhere along the way, I lost control. My house became something that you'd see on an episode of hoarders. Life overwhelmed me and it took me a while to get back to the point where I felt like I could start to take back that control. One of my first steps? Turning this...

Empty boxes, dirty dishes, groceries and more..just waiting for me.

Into this...

Cleared space combined with organized canisters makes me happy!

I walked into my kitchen. I looked around and I chose one space. It didn't matter what space. What mattered was that I got started. For me, I needed an area where I could at least make a sandwich or a wrap. Up until this point, there wasn't a clean surface for me to do anything. I won't lie. This process wasn't always the easiest. My kitchen sinks still aren't draining and there hasn't been enough money (and the house hasn't been in good enough shape) to get another plumber in. This meant I grabbed small totes and filled them with dirty dishes. Then, I lugged them into the bathroom and I did them in the bathtub. Was it fun? Heck no! Every time I wanted to give up, I went back into the kitchen and I looked at the progress being made. Want to know a secret? This whole counter...in the horrible condition it was in...took me less than an hour to make into a yay spot in my home. 

In less than one hour, I gave myself a clear space that helped me in multiple ways.  Every time I looked at it, it made me smile and when you smile, a little of the stress disappears. This weekend, for the first time in quite a while, I cooked dinner for myself and the boys. I actually had enough counter space that I could break out our new Foreman grill and I made us some burgers. 

So, who wants to know the secret of where to start? Anyone? I bet not. I bet y'all know it by now. The secret is that there is no secret. Take one space in any room or in any part of your life and just take babysteps. For me, it's my kitchen. My goal for this week is to actually have walls painted. Then, I will move on to my living room. We spend so much time in there and we need it to work for us. I will clean and reorganize. I will repurpose containers and I will even clear out a space for me to workout.

Life is hard but if we take it one babystep at a time, we can do anything.

Happy End of the Year!

New Year coming, new ideas and new actions.  Over the past couple months, I haven't been taking care of myself the way I should be.  I have gained weight, and my blood sugar has been up.  So what are we going to do about all this?  Or better yet, what am I going to do about this?  Well, I am going to make one minor change ... and that is to move my weekly updates from Friday to Saturday.  There is no real health or weight loss reason for that, it is just for my personal convenience.
Secondly, I am going to start a food diary again.  I did this back when I was first diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, and I really need to do it again to get both my weight and my blood sugar under control.
Thirdly, I am going to have to change what I eat. I have bought some apples and oranges for snacks.  I will be buying more fresh fruits and veggies, too. Once a week, I used to eat a meal of rice and veggies for dinner, and I am going to start that back up too.  I am also going to give brown rice a try again.  I didn't like it the first few times I tried it, but I am going to give it a shot again.

Today's weigh-in, 279.8.
Morning Blood Sugar, 146

Luck and health to all of us in the coming year.

Baby Steps

Sometimes weight loss is a study in what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.  I have done plenty of wrong in recent days, and now I have finally gotten some right in there.  there is only one problem ... I am not sure what I am doing right.

I still haven't started exercising.  I am still not drinking enough water.  I am still eating out too much.  Those are my major wrongs.  But guess what, I am down another fraction to 274.4.  So somewhere, I am doing something right.  Maybe it was the Halloween candy.

I like to have lots of candy for trick-or-treating.  I remember loving knocking on doors as a kid, just to walk away with a tasty prize, and so I hate to disappoint the young ghouls and goblins when they come to my door.  This year, I got my huge bowl of candy together.  I flopped out on the couch to wait for the doorbell, and promptly fell asleep.  I had had a busy few days prior and was totally wiped.  So I missed the doorbell.  That left me with a huge bowl of candy, and only one mouth in the house ... mine.

So, I took the huge bowl of candy, dumped it in a bag, and took it to school.  Now I ask questions, and when a student gets it right, I toss them a piece of candy.  They are happy, and I am not eating the candy.  It is a win-win!

The holidays are coming, and I am sure I will waver a few times during the holidays.  Last year, I tried out a recipe for mashed cauliflower (to replace mashed potatoes) but used too much milk.  I will try to get it right this year.

Well, that's all for now.  If anyone has a good healthy holiday recipe, let me know!

Soup is good food.

And in an effort to cook healthier, I'm going to try to post a healthy and low prep time recipe every week too. Starting out this week....soup!


Beef Barley Soup:
1 pound ground beef (lean as you can get)
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 1/2 cups chopped carrots
1 celery rib, diced
1 14 ounce can of diced tomatos
1 clove minced garlic
1/2 cup beef broth
1/2 cup medium pearled barley
8 cups water
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper

Brown ground beef in 6 quart soup pan and add 8 cups of water. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 90 minutes. Add onion, carrots, clelery, tomatoes, beef broth, garlic, salt, pepper and barley and return to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until barley is tender (about 45 minutes). Serves about 4 very hungry people.