Sunday, August 30, 2015

Starting Over... Again

I've lost track of how many times I've started and stopped this dang blog and taking care of myself. Honest to goodness. I don't even have a clue now. I swear that I write a post and suddenly nearly a year zips by and here I am again.

Now, here's the part where I tell you this time will be different..yada yada yada.. but the truth is, it may not be. Of course, it may also be. Who knows, right? A lot has changed for me over the past few years and I haven't really told anyone this, but my doctor is really on my case about my weight. I have to go back and see her in about two months and I know that she's going to ask me if I went to the weight loss clinic (which I have no intention of really going to because the want to shove a liquid diet in my face and prepare me for surgery). The reality is that I know I can do this on my own. I don't need a liquid diet or fancy surgeries. I need to deal with the core of my issues, why I eat and why I eat what I eat.

I need to take care of me and this is the area that keeps coming to mind. You see, every year, on my birthday, I choose a goal to work on for the following year. I've done mental health, physical health (namely the issues with my sinuses) and other things. There is only one real criteria. They have to be specifically for me. They're not allowed to be about anyone else, not even the boys. This year, I've been going round and round with two things and my weight is one of them. The other is my dental health. I have terrible teeth. I always have and on top of that, as part of my omg I'm overwhelmed by life thing, I got out of the habit of taking care of them.

So, this year, I've decided to be a bit of an overachiever, and yet, they all tie into each other. Here's the other thing..other than here and at Life With Katie, I don't really intend on posting about this or even talking about it. I'm doing this for me and any posts about it will be done for me. That probably sounds more selfish than I usually am or perhaps as if I don't feel as if I need support. I can't really comment on the first one other than to say well yes...but that's the point of this. To "selfishly" do something for me. As for the second point? Well, here's the thing..writing tons of posts here is great and I will always welcome and appreciate any comments, but I am truly blessed right now with some great people in my life and I know that if I need them, I can turn to them.

Now...I've mentioned multiple goals and I'm going to lay them out here, even though only one is really specific to this blog...

1. Weight Loss - I currently weigh in at approximately 310 pounds. I'm not going to put a number goal on an entire year, but I'd like to get down to where I have more energy and I'm generally healthier again.

2. Dental Health - Taking better daily care of my teeth and then getting myself to the dentist for help with the rest, even if I am terrified and I know it's not going to be pretty.

3. Taking Better Care of Me - This is #1 and #2 combined as well as little things like finding a way to get a hair cut when I need one, taking time to relax with a game or a book or whatever fits my fancy, and who knows, maybe even bringing back Time for Me Thursday for the other site. I just need to take better care of me...This also includes continuing to work on my over thinking/over worrying/over stressing issues.

4. Creating a Home - Last but just as important as the others is the continued work on my house. In the past month, I've hauled out a ton of trash and almost as much to donate to Goodwill. I want to continue on that path until I have a home that I'm proud of and don't mind inviting people over to. I want to get it to the point where if Phil comes around, we don't have to go to a hotel unless that's what we want to do. I want the boys and I to be able to both use and relax in the space.

There we go. My four goals for the coming year. Technically my birthday isn't until September 23rd, but I honestly couldn't think of a reason to wait. Instead, I'm starting with this post. Pretty soon I'll write up one for the other site, but for now, this is going to be our little secret...me and anyone who may wander across this post.

For tonight, I'm starting with all of the goals in a really simple manner. I'm going to go into the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth, and while I'm in there, I'm going to clean the mirror. If I do some little thing every time I walk in there, the room will be looking fantastic in no time and it will make me smile to walk in there. Smiling when I walk in there will lead to a more relaxed, happier me. Sometimes everything feeds into some other thing.


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