I Just Need to Write
Yesterday, I went to the doctor. I thought it went well. Then tonight I read in her notes that I have poor hygiene. I guess you shouldn't read notes more than you should read the comments. I'm crushed. I had freshly shaved my face and under my arms. I had put on deodorant. I had on clean clothes. Yes, my shirt had cat hair on it, but that's to be expected when you live with seven cats. I don't know. The whole having to have my head shaved thing had brought me down, but deep down I was proud of me for having faced it and dealt with it. I was proud of myself for putting on a bra and going to the doctor without anxiety. I was even proud of the 11 pounds I had lost since September. None of these things are anything to a lot of people but they're something for me. Now I just want to cry. I hope that this feeling doesn't last. I don't need it. I need to have good feelings. Sigh.