Thursday, July 1, 2010

Is there something wrong with me?

I'm going to be honest because that's what this blog is for. It's about openness and saying whatever it is that's on your mind. I'm starting to wonder if I should give up on this weight loss thing. I know it's been all of  two weeks and I finally have a handle on my water drinking, but I'm feeling rather alone in this struggle. It doesn't help that my weight has madly fluctuated in those two weeks. I've gained 5 pounds, lost 6 and gained 3 all in the course of two weeks. It's insane. I'm not going to give up though. I've had something else going on that I haven't posted about here. I haven't had a period in two months. I'm not pregnant. I'd love to say I was because I'd immediately drop 20 pounds..lol. My former mother in law used to say getting pregnant was the best diet for me. Not having a period for 2 months scares me. By the time both of my aunts were about my age or maybe a little older, they'd both had full hysterectomies. Their mother died of cervical cancer. My own mother had a full hysterectomy when she was in her 30s. Skipping periods is scary for me and because it's been this constant worry in the back of my mind, I know my stress levels have been high. I know that when my stress levels are high my body goes wonky and well, it becomes a cycle, doesn't it? Well, the good news is that the cycle ended today..or at least it's looking like it has. Maybe now I can move on from that and work more on the weightloss thing.

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