Monday, February 6, 2012

Mamavation Monday: Dark Times

It is with a heavy heart that I write today's post. Usually, I'm upbeat and insert humor into most everything I write, but today, I'm just not sure that I'm able to do this.

You see, I spent Saturday with my grandmother and she's starting to fade away. It breaks my heart and knowing what's to come makes me thankful for every moment of every day that I've had with her. I'm thankful that she got to know my boys and they got to know her.

Yet, I mourn for her already. It breaks my heart that I'll be losing a mother, my boys a grandmother and that the world will be a darker place without her vibrant spirit in it. The coming weeks and perhaps months will be hard. I will be spending a lot of it at her house, sorting through her things and helping her in any way that I can. I won't be around here as much as I have been.

It's with that knowledge that I know I have to make some changes. Something has to give. I'm not giving up this journey. She wouldn't want me to and it's a journey that people are starting to notice. My uncle noticed on Saturday and it made me feel good to know that it's starting to show, that it hasn't all been in my imagination.

So, my friends, if I'm not here for a bit, I hope that you know it's not goodbye..it's merely until next time. I will be back and I will be posting for as long as it's realistically possible. I will be stepping down from leadership, not because I want to, but because I can't dedicate myself to it the way it deserves to be. I hope that someone will step into my shoes and that the comment love team will continue to be filled with amazing women. I love this group and I love those who are a part of it. I'm not saying goodbye. I will be back as soon as I can be.

4 comments:

pauline

hugs to you and prayers for your mother. I lost my father four years ago and it still hurts. I'm thinking about you.

Amber

So many prayers heading your way. I will be thinking about you and cannot imagine the hurt you are internalizing. We are all here if you need someone to chat with. <3

Sarah M

Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I know how tough it can be watching someone you love slip away. We are all here if you need anything!

Lindsay

My prayers are going out to you with lots of virtual hugs.

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