Monday, November 19, 2012

My Final Mamavation Monday Post

Sometimes in life you hold onto things because you want them to be the way they were. You figure that if you hold on long enough, everything will go back to being ok.  Then one day, something happens and you wake up and realize that's just not the reality of life. Sometimes in life, you have to move on. It's not necessarily because you don't care anymore. Sometimes it's because things have changed and they can never go back to being what they were.

Sadly, today is one of those days. Today, I am officially leaving the Mamavation group. When I first joined the group, nearly 2 years ago, it was a smaller group and everyone was really supportive of one another. It really was like a band of sisters working together to help each other get healthier and to lose weight. Over time, as the group grew, that support dwindled off. It may have been because the group got too big for us to be there for one another like we were previously. It may be because life knocked a few of the most supportive on our asses and we were fighting to be ok ourselves and didn't have the energy to be there like we had been. It could have been any number of things or a combination of a lot of things.

What matters is that the group changed. The dynamic changed. When my life fell apart, I turned to the leadership of this group and their response was pretty much, "Well good luck with that." This wasn't the reaction I was expecting, not from the people who I not only looked up to but thought were my friends. However, I took a deep breath and told myself, 'Ok, what you're dealing with is hard for people to know what to say. Maybe it's not a lack of support, but a lack of knowing how to help.'

When things started to balance back out, I eased my way back into the group. What I picked up on was a tension that hadn't been there before. Not only tension but pressure. I'll be honest and say that I considered not rejoining but some women were there that I dearly love and wanted to help support. Even after today, a few of those women will still be there and I hope that they realize that I am still their friend and still want to support them, but the group just isn't for me anymore.

Today, I was unfriended and blocked by the woman who owns and runs the group. There was no reason for it. I hadn't posted anything to her wall or publicly posted anything negative regarding her or the group. What I did do was post on a private group that she is not a part of that I hadn't felt the support that I needed within the Mamavation group. I am dismayed that someone took the time and effort to copy and paste a private groups conversation and sent it off to someone not within the group. However, I am even more dismayed that the group who has made it their official policy* that if there is an issue with leadership, they are required to go and try to talk to that person, has a leader who unfriended and blocked me without any explanation or conversation with me regarding this. Hypocrisy sucks.

Now, before anyone calls me out for not running to leadership whining that people weren't supporting me, let me make this clear. My issues originally weren't with leadership. Heck, for a while, I was a part of leadership. It wasn't until I stopped busting my butt because my butt was needed elsewhere that I started seeing the flaws. They weren't 100% the fault of leadership and I felt that leadership was doing their best with a rapidly growing group. Plus, let's face it. There were other places to get support..namely within myself because at the end of the day, the person I'm doing this for is me and not any group.

This week would have marked my first appearance back at Mamavation tv. I was going to dive back into the group and support as many as I could and work harder at being healthier. Then, this happened. Sadly, I cannot be a member of a group whose leader has rejected me for doing absolutely nothing wrong. So, this is it. My official farewell to Mamavation. I didn't want to go but I've been forced out. It makes me sad to know that I will no longer be a part of a group that had such amazing potential. However, I walk away knowing that I will remain friends with the true friends that I made within the group. I also walk away knowing that there will be those who unfriend me, block me and/or never speak to me again once I hit post on this.

So, for those of you who have been there on my very winding and bumpy journey, thank you. I hope that you will continue to stop in and say hi and leave your words of encouragement. If you would like me to stop by your site, just let me know and I'll add you to our friends of the site section so that I have a reminder. I'm not going to stop caring about anyone simply because I'm leaving the group.

This also doesn't mean that I'm going to stop trying to be healthier. It's no great secret that I've more than fallen off the horse. I fell off the horse and got run over by the hay wagon it was hauling. It's ok though. Each day is a new day and a new opportunity and I know that I can do this if I really want it. So, I'll be here and I'll be posting. It might not be every week or only on Mondays, but I'm not quitting and I hope that those of you who do read here won't quit on me either.

*When you join the group, they have you sign a contract agreeing to this. I never signed it.



LOVE! I could say 1000 words but I will just say "Ditto!".

I love you!




Even if you had taken something to the leadership, had that been the issue, it would have turned out the same. Living proof. It's dumb when something that never happened resulted in what happened today.


I'm soo sorry that all of this happened.
I feel when someone says something about a group as a whole - the group should take it in, and look at themselves and examine where it came from. Like a child in a school conference, or a employee having an annual review at work, we should all look within ourselves instead of getting mad and upset and taking it so personal.
I think your AWESOME and I'm proud to be apart of the castaways!

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