Monday, June 21, 2010

Frustration

Have I mentioned yet I hate blogging? If i haven't there you go I hate it.
Counting points is frustrating but I'm trying. I know I've lost some weight as some of my clothes have started to fit me better, this is a bonus as my principal intent was to support my family. I find though that since counting points its way easier for me to get angry. Like REALLY angry. My solace has always been food, I eat because I'm fat, I'm fat because I eat. I've lost my focus, I've lost my motivation. It's a damn good thing I'm a phenomenal actor or my friends and family would know how many times I've smiled and lied and said I'm fine. If I was fine I wouldn't have carried around an empty envelope in my pocket (transferring it to my new pants every day) because I couldn't remember why it was important.

I'm not fine, I don't know how to fix it.

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