Monday, July 2, 2012

Mamavation Monday: Support

Wow. According to the clicker, which knows these things, I haven't posted here in a month. I seriously didn't think it had been that long. I guess life came along, scooped me up and before I knew it, time had flown by.  It's late in the day for a Mamavation post but here I am anyway because it's never too late to get, ask for or offer support.

Over the past couple of weeks, some people may have noticed that I haven't been my usual sunshiney self. I was having a really hard time finding the good in most anything and that's really not like me. It wasn't until one of my children asked me why it was that I no longer came downstairs that it clicked with me. While I had been fooling myself that I was happy on the outside, on the inside, I had fallen into the dark arms of depression. I was doing the minimum for getting through each day.

Thank goodness for kids who don't even realize what they're saying sometimes. It was that wake up call that said woah, hang on here. What are you doing? It was that wake up call that led me to reaching out to some of my closest friends and it was knowing that they were out there if I ever needed anyone that helped lead me back into the sunshiney place. It was a really rough week though and it led me to do some looking at myself and figuring out how I can help me and be a better mom to my boys.

For those that don't know, I'm headed back to Phoenix in a mere 26 days. Phoenix is a city that has chewed me up and spit me out more than once and yet, I keep going back. This trip..well, I'm hoping that the 3rd time is the charm and I don't come home in tears again. The purpose of the trip is no more than a vacation. Yep, that's right. For the first time ever, I'm going on vacation all by myself. Eric, who some of you may remember as "my" photographer and one of my closest friends, has agreed to put up with me for a week. This is going to be good for me. Eric will take care of me. If nothing else, he will ensure that I eat. Eating is still a struggle for me but it's one that I'm working on and Eric won't take excuses for why I'm not eating.

Plus, Eric is Mr Popularity. The man is everything socially I never have been..or maybe what I've never allowed myself to be. He's part of the contingent that tells me how much people love me so he might back me in believing that socially perhaps it's been me that's held me back. After all, how can people invite me to do things if they don't know that I exist out here in the middle of nowhere? It might be time to start easing back into circulation. Anyway, the point of me saying he was all popular was the thought that I don't see him letting me just sit in my comfort zone while I'm there. I highly suspect, if we can get transportation, that he'll have me out and about doing things.

Both of those things will be a great help to my mentality and my mindset. Lately, I've been thinking that I need to get back into getting healthy. It's one of those things that when I fall into a depression falls by the way side and it becomes a vicious cycle. However, I did it before and I can do it again. While I've gained back some of the weight that I lost, I haven't by any means gained back all of it. I started out this journey at the low end of a 28 and I'm still a 24. I have the tools and I have the support. I just have to reach out and ask for it.

I have been so amazingly blessed in my life, especially over the past 6 months or so. I've made some incredible friends who hold me up when I'm down and celebrate my successes with me when they come along. They've encouraged me in my writing and they've spent hours listening to me when I just needed an ear. They're helping me get over my fears. I'm a very lucky girl and I can do anything. I just have to believe in myself to try. After all, I didn't become a reviewer by waiting for people to come to me. I had to open the door and go to the people. I won't get anywhere waiting for life to happen to me. I have to make life happen and with the support and love of my friends, I can do that. I don't have to live in a cave..not when there's a whole shiney world out there waiting for me..and y'all know how much I love shinies.



5 comments:

Marie "aka Shorty"

**hugs** with what ever is going on in your life. I hope that you get to relax on your vaca. you deserve it. Have a good one. :)

Kat Rosati

Hey hun. I know how easy it is to ignore the blog when life gets busy or rough. I've done it, but know that you have an incredible support system here for you. It sounds like you are on your way to working out whatever it is you are going through. That takes an incredible amount of courage. Keep it up girl! Things will get better!

mom27g

Hugs!!!! Just remember we are here for you, too if you need anything!! I hope you enjoy your vacation, you deserve a rest!! :)

Lindsay

Enjoy your vacation! Let yourself have some fun!

lorrie

hugs good luck with your journey and be proud of what you've accomplished

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