Monday, October 21, 2019

Weekly Update: Depression

It's been a rough week and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. That would be lying to all of you and lying to myself and that's just not healthy.

Let's see...where to start...I guess with the car. I think I mentioned that I was having car trouble and about $600 short on getting it repaired. Well, I managed to come up with $250 and someone loaned me the other $350 so I went and got the brakes/rotors/calipers all taken care of. Unfortunately, the mechanic came out with more bad news in that the other wheel bearing is now making noise. That's another $450. I don't have it. Not a single penny of it. My editing sale brought in nothing, nor did my stick figure art sale. I did sell about $20 worth of books but that went towards the last repair. I'm trying to remain calm but it's hard.

Speaking of money, it turns out that my oldest makes too much money for us to really remain on food assistance. Due to his income (none of which is really a part of this household), they've cut me back to $16/mo. I have no idea what to do about that. Since he's splitting time between here and his father's, perhaps it'd be better to drop him as part of the household. I really don't know. I just know that nobody can live off of $16/mo in food and my income doesn't allow for me to cover groceries quite yet. That's a dream of mine...a goal...

So, as you can probably tell, money has me beyond stressed out. I don't know what I'm going to do. There's also a lot of little financial things that are trying to be the straws that break the camels back. On top of the financial stuff, I had to miss two major events that I had planned on attending due to the car and other finances. It was incredibly hard on me to see my friends and other people I know having a jolly grand time at them, knowing that I should have been there too. It's so hard being poor.

I'd like to say that I have some brilliant plan as to how I'm going to fix all of this, but all I can do is try to keep moving forward the best that I can. I'm waiting now for a client to pay me in hopes that he does so before my insurance company tries to pull funds. It should be okay, but it's a scary waiting game.

I keep thinking that the book sale was supposed to help pay to get my dryer repaired and a new stove/oven (I've been without one since March) and here I am trying to figure out car repairs. It doesn't take much to start a stress spiral it seems. I honestly have considered a GoFundMe, but I don't know if anyone would pitch in. I keep hearing that everyone is in the same boat. God, I sure hope not. It's a rather terrible leaky little thing and my bucket has holes. I'd not wish this on anyone else.

Like I said, all I can do is keep trying to move forward the best that I can. I know that not many people read this blog, but I'm going to post the links to my sale and to my book sale here, just in case someone may be interested...

Editing Sale
Book Sale

Have a great week, everyone and take care of yourselves and each other.


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