Tuesday, March 1, 2011

How to Burn Calories During "Homework"

A few weeks ago, Leah (@Bookieboo) challenged all of the Mamavation sistas to do some homework on Valentine's Day. If you look at the picture over there to the left, I bet you can figure out what that homework was. Now, since I'm not lucky enough to have someone on hand to "study" with, I decided to put this post together for those of you out there who are.

This, my loves, is the best way to burn calories during sex. I'll include the calories burned so that you can decide if you want to leave any out. However, I highly encourage you to do as much of these as possible. Consider this your homework workout. No cheating!


Do your homework as if it were an emergency. (Calories Burned: 911)
During foreplay use an industrial sized vibrator. (Calories Burned: 114)
Insertion w/ the male not fully aroused. (Calories Burned: 108)
Use the weightlifter position during sex. (Calories Burned: 100 (man), 45 (woman), 13 (spotter))
Use a hammock. (Calories Burned: 155)

Option 1: Do your homework in the gym! (Calories Burned: 141)
Option 2: Try it on the monkey bars! (Calories Burned: 85)
Option 3: Do it at Cal Tech! (Calories Burned: 101101)
Option 4: Try it on the Lincoln Memorial ( Calories Burned: 54)
Option 5: How about during Lift Off? (Calories Burned: 54321)
Option 6: While using the Trampoline! (Calories Burned: 42) (Combine with 2 for extra calories!)

Throw in some hot fudge! (Oops! Calories Gained: 144!)
Using Leather Restraints: (Calories Burned: 44)
Do your homework before a big meal! (Calories Burned: 74)
Turn on some Motown! (Calories Burned: 45789)
Add in some Hallucinogens. (Calories Burned: ooooOOOOoooo)
Add in some cartwheels & somersaults! (Calories Burned: 58)
Nobody likes a quiet partner! Throw in some howling at the moon! (Calories Burned: 13)
Girls, go for the appalling orgasm! (Calories Burned: 107)
Granted, if you go for the feigned orgasm....(Calories Burned: 134)

Afterwards, go shout it from the rooftops (includes hiking up 3 flights of stairs!)(Calories Burned: 83)
If your homework leaves you feeling disoriented...(Calories Burned: 20)
If his pre-mature ejaculation leaves him begging for another chance (Calories Burned: 51)
If your pre-mature ejaculation leaves you packing up to leave... (Calories Burned: 45)

Bonus Calories: Sex during the July 4th Fireworks! (Calories Burned: 1776)
Optional forms of sex: Oral sex before oral finals (Calories Burned: 119)
Optional forms of sex: Masturbation wearing boxing gloves (Calories Burned: 156)
Optional forms of sex: Avoiding it in a 40 man holding cell on a Saturday night (Calories Burned: 2,161)

Wow! Who needs The Biggest Loser DVDs when you can just do Leah's homework with a bit of fun added in?!?

(Information found at: CalorieLab)

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