Sunday, May 1, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Seriously, Why?

I honestly don't know what to write this week. I wish I had some wow, deep meaningful thing to write here but I just don't. As I write, I'm sitting down in Toledo. I should be sitting in a theatre right now watching Van Gogh but due to the lead totally stomping on my heart this morning, I'm not. I said to hell with him and supporting him and even seeing him and instead, I'm spending time with a new friend and maybe even making some new friends. Of course, these are also friends with the lead so that ought to make things interesting. Trust me to never make it easy, right?

Ugh. What is it about people that they think it's ok to lie to someone? Less than a week ago, he told me he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship and less than 3 days later, he has a new girlfriend? What the hell? It makes me want to scream! It makes me so hurt and angry. On top of that, I'm angry with myself for actually loving this idiot. Ugh. Seriously, that is the only word that sums it up. I'm so hurt. It makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me that guys think they can do this to me? There is a tiny part of me that says hey, what if there's something screwed up about him? Too many years of "training" though says it's me..there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough, skinny enough...maybe...

Now, since my laptop battery drains like we all ought to be draining our water bottles, I'm going to skip to the weekly summary. I do want to say that my weigh in this week was actually on Friday because I won't be home tomorrow morning to weigh in. I'll weigh in "officially" on Tuesday morning and try to remember to come back here and update this.

Average Daily Water Intake: 85oz
Workouts: 3 hours of pool time working with kids
Weight Change: -8.4 (current weight: 273.2)
Overall Weight Change: -18.6 pounds

8 comments:

Jenn of personalfitcoach.com

Big virtual HUG! Congrats on sticking with exercise and weight loss through this. Hang in there. We are here for you!

Anonymous

I went through a divorce 4 years ago, feeling exactly the same way you do now. I still have setbacks from it from time to time, but the most important thing I learned from it is that it has nothing to do with my body, how thin I am or how fat I am or anything in between. I realized that if a man loves me, he loves all of me, not me in a certain dress size. And that's easy to say but so hard to let it sink in and resonate deep inside. The most important thing is to keep on going, and let the past be the past. I hope you have a great week ahead of you, stay strong and don't give up!! :)

MNMSpecial

Oh Sweetie! I feel for you. I dated all kinds of wrong men/boys for years before one day looking up from a magazine and seeing the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with (fingers crossed). We didn't date for 3 years after that. He's younger so I was able to train him a bit, lol.
There is a Mr Just Right For You out there and you will find him eventually. Don't let your spirit get down over some jerk. You are strong enough and dawg gone it We all love you!!!

Anonymous

Sorry you are hurting darling. I wish I could do or say something to make it better!

However on a bright note, your weight loss this week! WOWZAS!!

Have a great week ad keep your head up. Everything works out the way it should in the end.

Lena B

Hugs and kisses. If he didn't appreciate you, You can do better. All I want is so many years later see my ex boyfriends - bold fat and ugly. I think it's a reasonable request. Don't you?

Resa

Oh, mama, you're wonderful and perfect. The man who can't see that isn't the man you need to be with. However, it doesn't stop the hurt. Endorphins, however, are nature's bandaids to life's emotional slumps. Keep up with the great work, and don't be afraid to reach out - we're here for you!

kia

Hugs. I am so sorry and saying MEN SUCK on behalf of your heart right now.

gretablau

Ugh, I'm so sorry. There's nothing wrong with you!! I know it's difficult to be betrayed by that.

Congrats on the weight loss!

Hang in there.

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