Monday, September 26, 2011

Mamavation Monday - Oh what a weekend...

I can't believe it's Monday. I haven't had a weekend so packed in such a long time that I'd forgotten what it feels like to go from that into a Monday.

As some of you might remember, Friday was my birthday. For the most part, it was an average day. I went into town, ran to Walmart, grabbed some lunch (got flirted with by the guy at Wendy's and rudely gestured at by a guy while I was waiting to turn into Wendy's), got the kids and then went back to Peter's. Then, it was on the road to Toledo for my first birthday party since I was a kid.

The party was nice. Quite a few people couldn't make it, but I loved hanging out with Chris, Lauren, Bree, Chris and even getting to see Drew for a bit. Once the guys ate some pizza and everyone had arrived, they took off for Chris' belated bachelor party. It was good for them to have a guys night, I think. Then, the girls (oops, I forgot to mention Lauren's friend Ali had come!) and I hung out and talked. It wasn't really festive conversation which bummed me a little but I think they all had things they needed to talk about with the girls. I think that was good for them too. Did I mention there were balloons? And a Phineas & Ferb cake? Plus, Lauren had made me this great box filled with bunches of fun goodies that she had made. Then, there was the surprise flowers and stuffed puppy that Justin had arranged to be delivered there. I seriously felt loved.

Saturday was tons of interesting. Lauren, Chris, Mike (Chris' friend) and I drove up to Detroit to the Detroit FanFare (I think that's what it was called.). It was a smallish comic con but since it was the first one for all of us, it was a good one to go to. Chris, Lauren and I all tried to give blood. Chris and Lauren were successful. I wasn't. It turns out my tattoo is too new so I'm wait listed until July of next year. Booo! Then, we went off to collect 50 comic books each for our attempts. That was nice. I picked up 50 pretty random ones but hopefully the boys and I will enjoy them.  The rest of the day was spent wandering from table to table, meeting comic book artists and writers. I know that Chris was in heaven and I had a pretty good time too. I just wish I'd had some cash on me so I could buy a few that I really liked. It was a bit tough watching them buy and me not being able to. Oh well, there's always Christmas and it gives me new things to add to my list.

Here's where I tell you about what was the hardest for me...I know Lauren might read this and I want to start out by saying that my feelings where none of her fault. I love Lauren. She's seriously one of my best friends and I know she'd never intentionally hurt me. The way I felt was a combination of me and men.

Do you see the picture that I used? The lovely lady in the middle is Lauren. She looked ..well..smokin' hot at the comic thing. She had dressed up as Snow White and in that costume and with those shoes, well the guys couldn't help but ogle. Ok, they could have helped it, but that's what they did. She had legs that went for miles and a smile that lit up the room. I lost count of the number of guys (and other folks) who stopped us so they could get a picture with her. Me? I was the invisible assistant. It was fun at first. Then, it started to bother me. I started to feel like the ugly stepsister. I think the worst part was going up to tables and the guys would talk to her and to Chris but ignore me like I wasn't standing right there with them. They'd offer them free things. I wasn't even spoken to. They would be handed comics to check out and I'd have to ask if I could see them too. One guy stopped Lauren to give her a sticker saying she was approved by the comic. He told me to pick up his business card so I could buy his product later. I won't ever buy his comic, no matter how good it is.

By the end of the show, I felt absolutely horrible about myself. I'd heard the jokes about maybe I should have dressed up like a dwarf. I'd watched and heard the guys lusting after Lauren. I felt fat and ugly and invisible. Nobody paid me any special attention. I was just another comic book geek (which Chris pointed out that I'm not which kinda made me feel lower..I've always been proud of my geek status) while Lauren was a goddess among men. I shouldn't have let it bother me, but it did. A lot. It still bothers me. It's been a long time since I've felt like this and I don't enjoy it. I left that show swearing that by next year, I might not be little like Lauren, but I'd be smaller and there wouldn't be any jokes about how Lauren got a sticker and I got a post it note. Next year, I won't be ignored.

Average Daily Water Intake: 40oz
Workouts: Nothing formal..though I walked over 3000 steps on Saturday.
Weight Change:278.4 (-5.0 pounds)
Overall Weight Change: -13.2 pounds
 

8 comments:

Jenn of PersonalFitCoach.com

It is so hard not to compare ourselves to others. I love your fire and focus for next year. Hold onto that! Keep your focus on your own achievements. You are doing so well so far. Glad to hear your hubby it getting into the act too.

LoLo VAn

Im very sorry you felt that way!! I never meant to make you feel that way!! Men are all butts!! Im not anywhere near where I want to be weight wise either!! You are one of my best friends Katrina and I never would do anything to hurt your feelings!!! And like I said next year you will be sleeping beauty!!! Don't ever under estimate how beautiful you truly are!!!

smallworldbiggirl

You're totally going to be rocking some sassy pants next year!
And a happy birthday (belated)

Colleen

your post brought me to tears! Its a horrible feeling...I have always hated going out, because that is exactly how I feel most of the time.

(((hugs)))

I see you are doing the two week challenge...I am too. We can both hurt together...but in the end hopefully there will be tears of pride!

Congrats on your loss...and lots of luck next week! oh and happy birthday!

Wendy

I so totally know what you are talking about, and how you felt. I'm so proud of your focus and goal of being whomever you want next year!

and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

MNMSpecial

You have to be you, besides you have a man that sees your beauty not just your body. Those men aren't worth your time and energy. You have your goal now its time to work on it. You've got this. I support your Sleeping Beauty capability. Let's get it done together.

Shannan Powell

I completely understand. I have been the "ugly ducking" of a group many, many times. You can do it!! WE can do it! (((HUGS)))

@AndreaEmilien

I'm sorry you felt like the sidekick. You are an amazing woman and your husband, he doesn't see you that way. That is what is important! I love that it lit a fire though - we all in this together!!

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